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Paul iMiMi*/ 



"TABASCO," 



CAST, 



Bey of Tangier. — (lov comedy) 

Grand Vizier* (baritone comedy) 



. . . 
Captain Marco, omer of a trading vessel. (hi^hbaritone 
- or contralto) . 

Francois, th Bey * s :hef ( tenor comedy)* 

Major Domo. — ■ (basso prof undo) 

Favor ita, the slave. ■-■ (soprano) 

Nopette, the belle of the harem. (contralto) 

Lola, the sister of Marco. — (singing soubrette.) 



A. PROPERTY OF V/ 

R. A, Barnet. 



"TABASCO." 



ACT 1. 



SCENE 


1. - 


SCENE 


2. - 


SCENE 


5. - 



- - Square and in Tangier. 



- Apartment of the Harem. 



Street in Tangier, 



Morninnr, 



tr* 



vcning. 



ii. 



ACT 11. 



SCENE 1. - - Room in Bey's Palace. 



SCENE 2. - - Old street and walls of Tangier. 



SCENE o. - - Kail of "Tabasco. 



X PROPERS 

A. BARN! 



'TABASCO/ 
ACT 1. SCENE 1. 



r 







(Morning, Square and quay in front cf 
Bey's Palace. i.iooring -posts back at L. 
C. and R. Extended vie 1 " of harbor back, 

filled with boats. Vessel moored at ^cst 
L. arh unloading. Bey's Palace frc;g No. 2 
to No./. R» showing building and a very, 
broad lor/ covered Piazza. Two or three 
■vide steps loatiirr - to the square., Esplan-' 
ade or continuation of square running off 



No. e. or G both P.. L. From No. 2. and 
4 cent i -nation o:? r nv.are. or filled with 
"i ccths. General morning activity unload- 
ing ve:::;cl rnd street life.) 



OPENING CHORUS. 

' — — — ■*— 



f(°'T ,0 r^'11'^llTr ^1 i nrv^Tlp « ,-,-{- -p .^ .--f- T-^.p,- „-^."l 




\ul o.(lUcwij.y U.J..J )L>1 bU b ^1 UC L, x 11 C <_xll(l 




movement. Marco and Lola come down from 




snip Marco counting money, during 




preceding busmessnavm? been seen selling 




his cargo. ) 



Lola 



rco you arc in luck this time. Your cargo sold well. 

karoo. 
Yes, but T am not happy with it all. (sighs) 

Lola, 
(making saort of hi:.:) And why? Are you in 1 eve? 

Marco. 



(starts and resents) Nothing: of the sort! But I can- 
not help thinking of any pitying that beautiful slave we 
saw at Morocco. (Marco goes and stands up stage looking 
over the water until song". ) 

■Lola fc 



I 



Stop thinking of ut: nil -laves. It is very wearing. 
(peekjir- ir. Palace ) I wonder if Bey is around. 

I have never seen a Bey in rny life. (enter Maj or Domo L. 
cros:-in^ to -xal. — Lola aointin^: into -ia.1.) Say, mister, 
is that the Bey talking with that lady in dark blue? 
(work ir? description of Nonette's costume.) 



I.L D. 



No, it is the Grand Vizier and Nopette the belle of the 



har 



Lola. 



That fright the belle? Are you the Bey? 

M.B. 
No, I'm the Major Domo, 

Lola. 

Oh! Where h the Bey? 

MJ). 



He's not come down. (going to palace exit) 

, Lola. 

Well, cell him down. (Major Domo at exit horrified) 

j or ! you 're a bird ! (exeunt 11. D. into Tjal. and LoT 
in ship) (Marco comes do^n. ) 



(Enter fro:- pal. Grand Vizier and Nopette) 



And I nay count upon the Grand Vizier? 

G.V. 
Up to a hundred. 

Nopette. 
How shall we work together in this conspiracy. 

G.V. 



Does Nopette wish : tc [urnish all the brains for the 
fin . 

Nopette. 



Certainly not! You can't do impossibilities. 

G.V. 
What arc yon conspiring for? 

Nonctte. 



I -hear : - Bey new harem " elle con i . I want to 
wring nor neck. Let me see; your grievances arc general 
are they not? 



G.V. 



Yes- I have taken a raost unaccount; ] tc the Bey 

and I would like very much to kill him — w he isn't 
looking. 

Ncoctte. 



That's all there is tc this conspiracy! lere is no 
need of any contract, constitution, or by- lavs. 

G.V. 



We si ly dc it! I see! Is there an}/ necessity of our 
working together at all? 



o 



Nonette. 



No, not any practical need, but it is conventional. 
It gives conspiracy its dramatic color. People expect 
it. Besides yousee if we were reserved in our plans 
we might conflict. 

G.V. 



Run \r^ against each other. There's something to that, 
I never conspired before! 

NoDette. 



It's like going to the dentist, you like to have somebody 
with you. Shi here's the Bey. 



(G» V. Nopette go up stage. Enter from 
palace Court, liajorDomo, liar em and chorus" 
MUSIC to ?et people on and to lead up to_ 
Bey's song, -enter Bey.) 



SONG- - - Bey. 

"What Other People Say. " 

In Tangier I'm the Bey - I am Monarch of the day 

And my will it is my loving subjects law 
I was born and bred to rule - I'm despotic never cool 

I am apt to ble, reprimand ; . " jaw. 

For my victuals I like hot - and my prattle's polyglot — 

On the days when thing:- are going t'other way, 
Oh! 'tis then I tear and roar-andl throw things on the floor 

And I do not care what other people say* 

I do not care what other people s§r, 
I ] ot care what other people say, 
I wear my "swallow tail" at noon and 1 cat pic with g spoon, 
For I do not care a "darn" what people sav. 



Chorus. A PROPERTY OF \ 

R A. Barn e 

He doesn't care what other people say, 
i doesn't care whet other peep" y, 

He wears a "swallow tail" at noon and he eats pie wit i a spoon 
For he doesn't care what other people say , 

Bey. 



How chilly it is this morning. 

Grand Vizier. 



r highne'ss, it's very warm, the thermometer is quoted 

at 102 1-8 bid with upward tendency. 



Boy. /T 

I said, how chilly it is this morning. R 

Nopette, 



I hop the Grand Vizier does net pretend to tell his high- 
ness the state of the weather. 



R» 



3ey. 



11, I should snicker! bhis is my country, bhi i; my 
weather, and this is my ornii f it is chilly! 

G V 



Your highnes y it's chilly, an! chill] goes. 



Bev. 



Chill; goes or you to! 1 can easily get another 
secretary of state (Dave Hill) woi ] like the chance. 

(Major P.. no appear:" from p.". lace an 1 en 
Piazza with fail ncuch. ) 



T, 



The .nail has arrive:! your highness! 

Bey. 



pp. 

R A. BARNE' 



Pass it along. Don' b stand there sleeping like a 
messenger boy. Change your residence. Agitate yourself. 

Nopette. 



I hope there's a letter from home. 

Bey. 



(with letter looking at envelope) 



Nov I wonder who this is from? 

Nopette. 
Why don't you oe> en it ana see? 



«*l ■ f 



Bey. 

Don't! Don't irritate me! You keep that up and you'll 
never know nor care whether you r ~et a letter from home. 



fi.U 



[ R U S "READING of the MAIL, 



Bev - Grand Vizier - ar I arem. 



(During introduction .'iajcr sex distributes 
letters and retires into xxace.) 



(Chorus first concerte d, t^r,--. -r-rrvr 1 , y«~. { i 

musica" ly extracts fr r.^ 1 p.t.t.ers ( t.v> Rr-v 

"finishes" his letter ir.Cormirx them of the 



instant arrival c r r. ~x- ^.xcr c r the 
harem - a present Pron a neighboring Bey 

Dismay n an- sxxr ax - ' his hrrem., 

Chorus finishes i" r ^ixorens protest - 
Nonet te leading it.) 



Bey , 



Do you :er- tc say that I cannot kee • my are I ecl 
looki fr rj t by a cc t i Idition of 

novelties? 

Nonet te. 



JET. 

No, we don't! But we Ic say that yes "cx.xt "red- 
ticket" us and nut us en ; bargain counter! 



Bey. 



Sun! I' - 1 lik + c know 

) et t e . 



jr y QV , 10v i$ Li _: : - f jC ■ - c - ^e'll tell you! We've fe T 

a trust haven't we girls? 

Chorus. 



(fortissimo anc falsotte) , we /e ! 



6. 



Bey. 



Don't! n't! Anythi oyj te it's a lot of screech- 
women. Let her lo the t " (tc Nopette) she can 

do it . ' ' 

NoDette, 



This si:" 7 , loes not bel ng tc cur union and she must net 
enter t u harem. 

Bey. (furious) 



sweet young Wellesley Graduate if you think you are 
rui : ;; this monarchy, you are mistaken! If there is any 
intimidation I'll discharge and reorganize. 



Nopette. 



* 



Don't yen dare tc bring tnat persor here. 

Bey. (takir g stage) 
You'll get me disturbed and annoyed if you keep en. 

(Major Dome - ars on piazza) 
). 



Where will yen have breakfast served your highness? 

Bey. 
Out here. I want air. I'm in a comfortable state tc eat. 

Nopette. 



It's your own fault! Why didn't yen let well enough alone 

Bey. 

Daisy Dimple! Yen make [tie lizzy! Can I stop 2 friend 
from sending me s present? 

Nooette. 



Before I get through, you'll wish he could send you the 
past. 



7. 



{Bey and Grand 


Vizier r c 


and sit at table 


on the piazza. 


iiarem ta) 


ces seats. Break 


fast is 1; id 




The party is 


entertained Dy 


street taj 


icers or singers, ) 



DANCE ---- Specialty. 



(Dance over. Suddenly Bey tarows third's 
arc- -a-'. -yraerally J 



Bey. 



Who frapped these victuals? Ser : the ccck! 

(Major Dome noes to call chef) 



icy. 



i have never tasted such stuff. Vile! raiser: hie, mill 
and watery! I want my Food to sting and bite! I want 
some "snap" to my meals! 

Nopette. 



Why don't you try some fire- crackers? 

(Harem try to pacify him. Hater Francois 



ana assistan ts aancirar iron b R. as though 



comiry irom bacK a arc o 



\ . * v , 






r 





S N G 



- - Francois and assistants. 



r\ 



PR,'" 



8. 



» Sona of the Chef. n 



Chorus of cooks. (Ent;rins from R. 5) 



TAASASC 






p 



- 



NET. 



Tin-tan! Tin-tan! Patty pan- pan- pan! 

LetVtir keen our fires aglow! 
Tor a man roust eat and tis heaven sends meat 

But the cocks are from below — — 
Ho ! Ho ! The cooks are 



? 



from below. 



(Enter chef) 



Chora 



Chef. 



ksicrus. 
Chef. 



Chorus. 
Chef. 

(Sicrus. 
nci . 



Chorus. 



Tin- tan! Tin- tan! Patty pan- ; 
(keens ua u til chef 



- a an! 

J U 1*1/ o 1.: V. 



-1 



What means this riot here? 

HC tell you lads you are cocks not cads, 

eer. 



And youi chef's without a peer. 

Hear! Hear! Our chef's without a 
For F^pm a chef of high legree, 

With the biggest sort of salaree 
And I always go with the family, tree 

With the family tree he goes — 
My Menus arc quite beyond compare 

Now Menu is French for e bill of fare — 
An' I call the claret "vin ordinaire" — 

As evervbc iy knows. 



Chorus. 



Tin-tan! Tin-tan! Patty nan- pan- pan! 

Let us keep cur fire:: aglow! 
For a nan must eat ana 'tis heaven se 

But the cooks are from below. 






Choru s . 
Chef. 



Tin- tan! Tin- tan! Patty 
(Keens up until chef 



pan- nan! 




I as artist aose through th 



From the ■ pot age- cl air" to the "pcusse- cafe" 
And a larded dream is my roast " poulet" 
Oh his "poulet" is divine! 
I am famed for my "pot des haricots" 



Chorus. 
Chef. 

That's French for a pot of beans you know 
And there's "boeuf a la mode" and the "ris- de- veau ! " 
Chorus. Just hear the "liounseer" talk! 
Chef. They think I'm a pupil of Margery 
Chorus ^ And that is as French as French 
Chef. And the more I say "la belle Par: 
Chorus. The less he'll look like Cork. 



can be, 



9 

Chorus. Tin- tan! Tin- tan! Patty Pan- pan, nan! etc. 

(During soiv Bey and household still on 
piazza. Bey still v iolent. Scnr . ~cr. ) 

Bey. 

Are ycu the cook? 



Francois. 



No your hi r mess, 1 am zc chef 



3 



tsey. 



A PR0P|RTY OF V/ 



lat's the difference. BARNET. 

Francois. 
400 shekles per week* 

Bey. 



What is this sickly feeble stuff you nave given me Tor 
breakfast? 



T?"T p T\ 



Puree of Ammonia 
Cayenne Pate- 
sauce a la vitriol. 

Bey. 



Do you think I am going to stand this diet? 

Nopette. 



Hot unless ycu get a new fire pot in. 

Fran, 
(laughs) Zat is very good "ce drole. " 

Bey. 



Another thing Freschy, when I order "pomme du t err e" I 
want more "pomme" and less "terre" understand? 



Fran. 
Oiii Mounseer you lo not want ze earth. 

Nopette. 

I aa sure Francois did very well this mcrninr. 

Fran. 

Oh merci! mademoiselle! 

liar em. 



breaki i leli 1. 

Fran. I 

(delighted) Oh, - lies- V*- NE 



1 



Bey. 




or 'lie! 



(Exeunt Bey, Or: :sd V i zier and harem. Servants 
clear a~-ay breakfast) 

I.I U S I C ^Refrain of ,n 7hat Other People Say" 



Fran. 

; divii didn't I 
morni 



T 7hy the divii didn't I make him some arsenic soup this 

Cook. 



What's s;cinr; to be done? 

Fran. 
Begorrah! what has been lone is troublir me. 

Cook. 
Why yen are not a Frenchman! You've lost your accent! 



11. 



Fran. 
in I lose my temper I lose ray accent. 

Cook. 
Do you know of r - thin? hot? 

Fran-. 



(nodding his head) he Beyd 

Cook. 



You must r :et something for him. 






■ 



PROPERTY 

r. A. Ba^^ eT 



Fran. 



Or he'll eret something "or us 



in the neck. To think 



that the end of my life is just at the begi ling of -t- 
career. 

(Ex. chef and i itants, utterly dis- 



cour< L, si: 
— - i 



i- tan! Tin-te-i! etc., 



cnorus m ".i o" key 
into bacaroiic. .) 



11 il..,j It J. -L LCD 



'U7, 



Concealed Chorus ----- Bacarolle) 






(Small vessel appears R. and moors at 
pos^. 11. Favor it a closely veiled and_ 
attendants disembark. They treat her hr.rsh 
ly. Chain her to poet C. and proceed 
to una 13 ey. - enter palace; 

Attend- nts. 



Come here. No fooling. Here's your future home. 



Fav, 



Oh ! spare me. 



Oh I might as well stay, I may >e able to gather some 
points. I wish you success, 

NoDette. 



Thanks. I may need some little aid - not skilled labor ■= 
but help on the heavy lifting, I am :'oing tc throw 
he.r overboar 1. 

G. V. 



Do you intend wringi: r nee]:? 

Nopette. 



Not I shall scratch her eyes out, then she cannot see 
who Le drowns. 

G. V. 

Hon considerate! 

(No pette attack:; Favor it a. Latter screams 
Uarco~thc captain of vessel moored stage LT 
9 rushes from Vessel and rescues Favor it a. 
' c ' Grand Vizier and Nopette run oil nurriecl.i.y)" 

I iarcc. 



Sweet vision of loveliness do not tremble. I will 
protect you from all harm. 

Favor it a. 



Oh, yen will! I know that you "will! \> a 

Marco. 

Lola, my sister, is with me on the boat. . She will care 
for you as (sighs) I fear I do now. (enter Lola) 
Sister here is one whom I saved from an angry woman, 
s she some relation? 

Fav. 



I do not know her. I am Favor it a a slave sent as a 
present ..from the Bey of Morocco to the Bey of Tangier. 
I was sent hither in yonder ship and the attendants who 
brought me chained me to a post while they went to notify 
the Bey of our arrival. ey lay be here any minute 

so sir quickly conceal me. 



[arco. 



Go or. board! (Fa v. gees in ship ) This is serious. 

They will return and finding her gone, will search every 
where and so my ship, 

Lola. 



Let us sail away, brother. 

Marco 
He have not time. 

Lol " . 



I nave it. I will put Favor ita in the clothes of one 

of our sailors - and send him ashore in her . (exit 
Loin) 

A PROPERTY SF yj 

K A. Barnet. 

Marco. 

Oh woman! Woman! How often you get us out of a scrape 

Lola. 

how often T ve get you into one! 

(Exit into ship - ALL ON except harem 
Nopette, Fav. , Lola and Marco. ) 



"- MU.SIC 



r>ev 



(chuckling to attendan t s of Favor ita) Ami you say she's 
a beauty! A Gem! Bring me the gem! (atte idants ro to 
post) Where's that hare- of mine? 



M^a 



They sent word they do not care to meet the person you 
expect this morning as she is not in their set. 



ri^r 



Gee! That harem some Hay mil make me lose my temper. 

Attendant. 

Your highness, some one has stolen the slave. We left 
her chained to yonder post and she is gone. 

Bey. 



Well I'll be switched to 1 th if this dry isn't going to 
be a corker for me! Fro what asylum Tor feeble minded 
youths were you graduated? To leave "a Gem" hitched to 
a Dost. You couldn'1 lo i y less for a jackass. 

Grand Vizier tie up these idiots and kill them with the 
cooks this evening. 

G.V. 



This evening, your highness, 

Bey.- 



That's what I raid "this evening" and lon't annoy me any 
more or you'll get an invitation tc the same party „ 

(One if tnc chorus who discovers rd.ave on 
vessel. ) 

Why there's the slave your highness. 

(Attendants go and rrct her and brine her 
clown veiled.) 



(to chorus) 



Ricardo. 




WJPEflTYOF V7 

R A. Barnet. 



Bey, 



Let me see, that's Tangier for Richard isn't it? 

Well, Richard, you have more intelligence, more brains 

than my entire Court and you ought tc get a head. 

Richard. 

Where can T get a head? 



Bey. , 

( l.is r T'Stcd) Ricliard, your first and right remark vins a 
flickering fluke! Go back in the ran]:- you belong 
tc obscurity! Trot out the Gen! 



C H R U S. 



. y 



(Durin r ; t.ie chorus the sl.-vc is unveiled and 
sailor is Uncovered aj the slave. Bey orders 

sailor arrested. i-jailor knocks -[q^t: attendaTftsT 



an. "runs in bac.-. and jumps into T vater vrith a 
great splash. ~arcc is just cr. sting off ' 



Bey's subjects stop hiiTi and arrest the 
io — Marco Favorite and Lola.) 



trio - Marco Fever ita and LclaT) 

/A - — . 



PICT U R 



u> 






R. A. Barn ei 



(end of scene 1. ) 



"TABASCO. 



X PR: 

R. A. Barnet. 



A C T 1. S C'E N E 11, 



17. 



AB AS C 0. 



ACT 1 



C 



11 



(The Bath. Enter nopette ,:;_•:. Harem £,11 
talkin- vcrv earnestly) 



Nopette. 



My cousin in Boston, she isn't my real cousin, bub r*hc 
would have bee sort of a step-cousin, if a second cousin 
of mine had mar: i r sister — but he didn't — she 
said that the way to rule a m< was to sit en him. 

liar era. 



How lovely! Do all Bostor girls do it? 

NoDette. 

Everytime they have the chance. But the "Boston 
is intellectual. It is a mental depression. 

Harem. (disappointed) 



it" 



Oh! 



Nopette. 



A iTYCF ^ 

But girls I have a better Dim. Listen! R. A. BARNET. 



Sons; and Chorus ««~- Nopette and Harem. 



NoDette. 



1 



I'll tell yon my sisters a plan —plan —plan- 
So you all can manage a men —man— man. 

Be svect and be yielding —or so let him think, 
Give him plenty to oat and ty to Irink, 
If you "'ant a new : et ; vice! 



Harem, 



tice! 



No :>ette. 



If von stick to that useful s '.vice 



Barnet. 



Harem. 



Advice ! 



Nopette. 



You'll soon have a slave without cost without Trice, 
You can rule him for ever like that. 



liar em. 



lIo v - nice! 



All. 



The "lord of creation" is silly and weak 
n If vou only know how- to handle this freak 
You'll laugh when you see how easily you can, 
And thank kin' heaven, you're woman, not man! 



(song over) 



M 



Nopette. 



Remember we are all made of lust, but man isn't worth any 
thing unless he is made of gold dust* 



(Enter Ljajor Domo) 



him 



Major Doihq.. 
Bey sends his command for the harem to appear before 



Karon. 
ht ! (All start to go Nopette stops them.) 

Nopette. 



Stop! (to Major Dome) Vfa re is your 

com 1? 



Ii. 



-- 



oette. 



Sho*7 it to me! (ivitn s.r.ilc of satisfy oticr tc harem) 

! he b do it. (to Major Porno)" _ To him ™rhc sent 

you: tell him you f the young ladies ot. 3 r ise 



-i c r mo .. 



tiUOlJ L« lilt Ul - b f 

(all rr.s.i at hi:: - - he e; Jkly) 

Nopette. 

rute! Cc let's take in the matinee a] 

aftei ■ s go to Hulyer's \ 1 - ice :re; i la, 

x i ar ei ft . 



Oh, won't tiiat be fun! 

Nopette. 



Fun! in Boston that is called dissipation. 
—DANCE 

(exeunt R,. and L» * - Change to scene 111.) 



A 3 A S C 0. 



JL prope, 

R. A. Barnet 



A C T 1 . q n t? t - t? ttt 

• o v-r i_, n jl in 



50. 



11 T A 



i 8 A S C 0. 



A C T 1. S C E N E 111 






(Street ir Tangier - vie; of ^ntcr - 
Evc-:'.iii r - mccrF.i r ht. Francois lisco^c^ed" 
np st; 7;c i Lime lip;ht. ) 



SONG 1-> - Francois. 



. Bar net. 

France is' La le 1 , 



The shamrock blooms white by the Lakes o' Killarney, 

An' swate are the hells on the banks o' the Lee, 
The ivy is green on the castle o' Blarney, 
But sorra a bit cT it all is for me. 



Why did I go roamin' 

And lave my old home in 
Sweet Erin i'a cush la" dear lend 'cross the say 

Bad cess to that morninf 

Whin slight in' all warnin' 
I left ve "a cush la" forivcr and aye. 



(Concealed chorus sins: a fe ir < measures of 



"The Ham That Once Through Tara's Halls" 
without accompaniment. ) 



divil fly off wid me foolish ambition 
luck to the day that I left the Green Isle 
Me ould mother's pigs were in better condition, 
The darlins all died in an illigant style. 



Why did I go roamin' 
And lave my ould home in 
Sweet Erin "a cush la" dear land 'cross the say- 
Bad cess to that mornin' 
Whin slight in' all warnin' 
I left ye "a cush la" foriver and aye. 



( Conceal cl chorus siny a fe" measures of 
"St Patrick's Pay" without accompaniment) 
'(Sony ever) 



Francois. 



I nive" ] w before it was such an uncomfortable 
thing to die. Well we mu all lie sooner or later. 
Its always sooner - never later. 

(Enter blin Pan with placard - Fran, reads -placard. ) 
"Pity a peer blindman who was born "ea and dumb." 
Faith he's worse off. He's dead ar 1 don'1 kac" it. How 
lo r v have you been leaf i poor man? 

- a.K. 



About seven years come next Tuesday. , ,_ 

Fran. -A- PROPERTY CF 

R.A. Barnet. 

Oh dear! and dumb as well I suppose. 

Man. 



Yes sir! ("ran, takiny out alms droes a coin) 

Fran. 
And blind (man juans ana secures coin) Yo u see nothing? 

Man. 



i!= 



Not a thing. 

Fran. 
Here's my purse I'll not need it to morrow 1 

hi- n. 



22. 



Thank you kindly. Let me reciprocate. (hands be '-Me 
of ' abasco sauce. ) 



Fran. 



If you :x I'll pound you. 



Won't you bake 2 bottle of ly Tabasco sauce? 

ft raj l. 



I've had toe much of youi sauce already. 

an. 

Jl ^ 

It is the hottest stuff this side cf Hades. . A. BARNET. 

Fran. 

Hot! (tastes) Did you say (chokes) 

Ian. 



Has it killec] vou? 



Fran. (gasuinpr) 



No! It has saved my life. Bring all you have to Be3 r, s 
Palace: back loor. Fun! Every minute you save is yolcl 

tc you. (si an e::its) (Fran, holds up bottle) "Tabasco 
how my heart warms towards you, like wise my throat and 
stomach! 

(Fran, starts to s;o ens Lol" enters) 
(She is escse'drs) 

Lois! 



Oh sir you wont give me up? 

Fran. 



If I had you Miss, the Suhinx couldn't make me give sou up 

Lois. 






What an interesting creature! 



Fran. 



You're a stranger. You are not from these parts? 

Loir.. 



I am a stranger. 



Frs,n. 



So am I. I'm from Ireland. 

Lola. 



K A. Barnet. 



Ireland! Oh I simply dote on Ireland! 

Fran. 



' Ireland dotes o: m 1am, 

Lola. 



I always thf t I ""as me.ant for an Irish woman! 

Fran. 

You're wrong! You were meant for an Irish man! 
his arm about her. ) 

Lola. 



And will you help me to get away from the Bey? 



Fran. 



( -outs 



Will I? I -ill! For what is a Bey? Webster's Diction- 
ary informs me that "a bay is the arm of the sea". What 
is "an arm of the sea" against the arm of an Irishman! 
(bus) 



DUET- - - Francois and Lola. 



QC? "I _ O 



Lola. 

I bid my heart no longer wait, 
You arc its fortune and its fate. 

Fran. 






You make my heart a lighter weight 

And yen have my fortune at your "fate. 

Lola. 



If we arc parted you'll not fail, 
To y/ritc me lear by every mail. 

Fran. 



Yis! Just to tell the lave I fale, 
That fills me like a good square male 

Together. 



Oh! what rapture! Oh! what joy! 
Fr:n. 
You are my girl. 
Lol: . 



! 



i / >, 



You are my boy! 



Together. 



JL PRO 

R. A. Bap 



And like to birdies in a tree, 
Come scny and mirth for you and me. 



■--DAK 



(Exeunt song over). 

(Enter from opposite direction, Marco and 

Fav. - and Grand Vizier and Nopette. 



24 

(Each couple in earnest conversation. Do 
not sec each other until they meet at C. 
Gr art 1 Vizier and No s> c 1 1 c recc an i s c Pay . 



^ immediately face about and hasten out ana, 
'return with men and arrest Fay. Marco and 
Lola : t cue as below. ) 

Loir (re- enter) 

(talkies' very rabidly) O h I've found ruch ■ level-- fellow, 
e's the chef at the Bey's Pale.cc. : is just as nice as 
he can bo - he i: gains to help \::-: - yes he has just gone 
to cook the bey's supper and then he'll escort us out of 
town. 1 e is simpl; - ct ! Such a l1 1 man! Lis 
sta°'c name is Francois but his real s mc is Mike! And 



(The arrest. busn prisoners off. Lntcr 
Lev end Court. ) 






Ley. 



What is this disturbance? 

a v 






^:~.ac prisoners arrested this morning were trying to escape. 

I neve just rc-arrosted there. 

Bey. 



You never could arrest my attention - alone - who helped 
you? 



Nopet.te. 



I did your highness, I wanted to please you. 



Well -Liat is it - a new bonnet or a sealskin seek? 

Lcyette (very tenderly) 



+ T-*/-\+' 



i vent no tn 



1 only want to see you sreile ! 
(Bey smiles a very sick, feeble smile) 
Bey. 



There you've been paid. Give me a receipt. 

. Nopette. 
Nobody wants a r >t for that smile. 



(Music pr), Tin- tan? Tin-trr ! etc.,, 

Enter Fran, end cooks cr- ' fore line free: 
Bcv us> etrgc. ) 






( soliloquizing ) I s.v - lehow 

I am net tickled th about it. - Nopette ' 

too rauc i Cair. Nopette is no disinter- 

ested birdling. (cocks kneel in Tine u^ ire: 1 stare) 

)lay arbles Cor "keeps." she ( discovers 

cooks) .0 ! Well, dc yoi live or lie this evening? 

Fran. 



~" : live, you r nctness! (to cooks) Serve the T co 

Sauce. 

(Fran on his knee before the Bey. Cooks in 



a line us mi dc T vn stage. : .:.;C cock 

"farthest up sta^c has tnc ^Ts"hT~ i J asses 
"it along "n.rst very s Lowly)" 

Bey. 



Hurry up! Your Lainson Store service nee Is oiling"! 

(Fran, hands dish to Bey) 



Fran. 



R.A. a 



Oh Bey! You are "hot stuff" but here's your twin! 

(Bey drinks an] gags - all rush and pound 
him on the back - he has a terrible snasen. )" 

Bey. 



Gosh! but that's good! It's great! But oh, this is 
what I've been longing for. Anything in the world i 
yours. If yes don't see it, ask for it! What is the 

a: . of these goods? 

Fran. 



Tabasco. 



Bey. 



26. 



Tabasco? I make you Duk of Taba jo. To-day shall be 

own as St. Tabasco's Dayi Next year we'll have a pro' 
cession. I'll cr " i ■-- hotel "Tabasco". 

My newly retun • 11 be christened "Tabasco." 

Let the fireworks "tabasco." Let the usic "tabasco!" 
We'll he ' ' - ular "tabasco "time! 



/•• 



FINAL 



CHOR U S, 



Dancing- — electric and calcium cCCccts — illuminated 
boat scene Fireworks. 



End of Act 1, 



A PROPERTY OF 

R. A. Barnet. 












T A J A S C 0. 






A PROPERTY OF 

R. A. Barnet. 



ACT 11. 



SCENE 1 



"Z7" 



T A B A 



SCO. 



ACT 11. 






:; N 



!*. 



(Room in Bey's Palace in o. Opening L. and 

11. back o^cn corridor -rith pillars. 

ba.ro..i discovered IcY by Nopette stealthily 
r~ ,.b r ' :c" Fay. Lyric tells the story. 
Half lightTT" 



OPENING C1IQ 11 U b -Nopette and Heron. 



(Enter Bey.) 



Bey. 



What have yon lost? 



Nopette, 



1 PR( OF V7 

R. A. Bab.net. 



Our peace of mind. 



^>ey. 



If you continue tc annoy no I'll r ;i^e you 
What is the matter with you girls lately. 
spring tonic! You're not looking well, 

Nopette. 



piece Qt mine, 
You need a 



\ :t - 



/ C c-J. 



re not! If we had looked well we bed found her. 



Bey 



Who is tt nev. 



Nopette 



■Who is her" is unRTammatical ! 



Bey. 

Who is "her" is 1 .ess! (Ungrammatical ! ■ I've half a 

iiui tc send y m. Rememl ~ I do it. 

I'] y ! 

NoDette. 



Do it. tc my Cir ; love the Bay ;sachusetts 

(derisively, s^.ic as one ~cr.Vl r.a- "rats. M Oh , J c ans ! 
( ^ointiny ~to"raMs ex-it) I ^cv .! commune "'itn i ny s elf! 

(Nonette and harem exeunt sis r m.ry refra i n 
r onening song". ) 

Bey. 



It' = how irritating wo* be soj es - 

I've seen the no n- arrival of an Easter bonnet make me 
feel i ] bilious and that I had less to live for than 
when I had th( ; .low jaundice! Now to sec my "gem!" 
(Bey brings Fav". from roc:?,) Chicago! I should nay- 

Fair one tremble not. By the way ~ r at is ycin family 



name. 



1 ' c~ / . 



I'm called Favor it a! 



R.A. 

3ey. 



(During following saeecn Fav. apacears horribly bored 
Pays no attention tc the Bey's conversation. Looks 
anxiously abou tX~ Not by me! You'll be called "Tabasco" 

Anything I like I call "Tabasco. " ( Fav. exc e a s i ve 1 y , 

bored) I called Uncle Tom Gin "Tabasco. " now. ( rtey 



■ > \J -i '^ *.-\. / .1- KS <-*- -i. _I_ \_> -*. W J. -i. W — v.> J. V-W-i \ ,1 _t-X J. -A- t-«J IS tw»_J V^\_/ # . LV/ ' » a \ -l J w ■■/ 

I aim bis mildl y - - Fav. dees not move a muscle) Beautiful 
weather we've been having. ( pause) Did you take in 
the Columbian Exposition? (nause) (Fav i nrVir.r r-i-,mt.) 

Do ye 11 [?eel a draught or are you expecting somebody? 

m- -\t 
-■/ . 

Oh your high] me! 1 am so lonely - Let mc sec 

my brother Marco an ! my sisterLola. 

Bey. 



(calls Maic Feme ) 'tainly ! Is that all you 

ft ant. (son In ~I. D . ) Send Capt. Marco and his sister 

Lola! I lidn't -crc y 1 irotheT c 

.r? bee your brcthi i :. ] sister? 

(Fav. su,: >V r r/ - ses at sii.:. ) lot? '- ?id 1 am. ( 

( aside) No hotel clerl :c 1 so smaF 

end unnnpo rt ant : Lrl Lees. 

(Fntcr simultaneously lir.rcc R. and > 

I.iaier Dc.mc L. ) 



r 
... u. 



3lc be sec 

hi; 



tc C. a-jes Fay. Bev 

at exit" (J. UJ """ 



rco. 



(ra -■ turcu sly) My i ng ! 



Bey. 



t a unite ■ mily! I wish she would be a sister to 
me. Ca leceivj s? (shaking .Hnr-.-i r..g i r in 

doubt - e: Its through corri "or. ) 



Fay. 



"'his is joy ind€ 



R.A.B 



I fo-ppo 

- - ■ ■ v^v^ - » 



5 m- 



s haniness itsel ~. 



51, 



LOVE-DUET, 



Marco and Fav. 



Fav. 



My love it seems years since we parted. 

Marco. 
'Twas only last night. ~ • 

. ^ 7 ' PR r 

Time halts "hen 37011 are ai7ay. R- A- ^ 

Marco. 
But it flies when we are together. 

( Enter Fran, and Lola, embracing each other) 

Lola. 



There are no flies on us. 

Fay. 



Lola! How did you come here? 

Lola. 
I was just released by the Bey. 

Fran, 
And vfas rearrested by the Duke of Tabasco. 

Marco and Fav . 
Duke of Tabasco! Who is he? 

Fran. 
"Duke of Tabasco!" 



Fran. 
I'm the Duke and here is the Duchess that is to be. 

Lola. 
And Michael is to help us to get away from here. 

Marco and Fav. 
Michael ! ~ no is he? 

Fran. 



Michael!" I'm Michael! and to night the Bey gives a 
ball i' honor of Tabasco and he says to me, says he,, 
"Francois can have any ~n^h he wishes. " 



. rco and Fav. 



Alk 



Francois ! " no is he? 

Fran. R. A^A 



I"m Francois and I'm going to ask for your pardon ( to 
Marco and Fav. ) and else dor rny fiancee. 

Marcc and Fav. 



Fiancee! Who is he? 

Lola. 



"Fiancee!" It's no "he." I'm "fiancee" and I'm a 
daisy - aint I Mike? 

(Nopette and G. V. appear at opening up 
stage and overhear next speech. ) 

Fran. 

"Daisy!" You are a Chrysanthemum. But Whisper! king's 
young ladies and politicians after election, sometimes f 
get their promises* The Bey has promised me anything I 
ask for, but I may not get it: so go you ( to I.iarco and 
Favy ) to the Plaza called Chatham to the house of doses 
the pedlar and get a disguise he'll give you. Walk the 
streets till you hear from me. If all goes well, I'll 



send for ye to cone to the palace - if not: with your 
disguise yea: can lave the town and we'll (embracing 
Lois ) go with you. 



A PROPERTY OF V/ 

R. A. Barnet. 



SEXTETTE 



Marco - Fav - Fran - Lola - Grand Vizier - and Nopette, 



Lescrj-ptive of the situation with dancing 
movement. ) 

(Grand Vizier and I'ppctte id sta^e and 



otne-r jouples down it. and L. an.rl ex ^npt. on,,. 
closing strains marked rhythm 



capable of giving opportunity for an odd 

dancing step. ) 

(enter Be-- 3 laior Demo.) 

Bey. 

(bus) I've just been practising on the par&lled bars. 
How much better you feel after working the bars - on the 
bars. Gymnasiums are great things to strengthen muscles 
and prolong life. 



M.D. 



Your highness! Our ancestors had no gymnasiums. 

Bev. 

Yes, and lock at 'em! They're all dead! Why Major I 
knew 'a man who thought if you simply ate oatmeal you 
could lift a. horse. He ate it - went to the bank tried 
to lift a note (an oat) and failed! 



(Bey laughs little M. P. locks blank) 

Bey. 

en he went tc London worked in a gymnasium six months 

sweeping out and h ' fted fifteen hundred 

pounds sterling. 

(Bey l.-ughs immoderately II. D. does not 
sec the joke. ) 



He must have been a very stron our highness. Was 
his name Sandow? 

Bey. 



(furious) Major you are a gibbering idiot. I wa: 
jesting! An absolute Monarch's jokes are always seen 

anticipated 3 laughed at. xt time I jest you 

laugh! No^ r sec if you can find the Duke cf Tabasco. 

I am tired waiting for him. (exit M. D. Bey lock 

ing after him. ) Nothing is depressir damn 

fool! 



ttUlV 



R.A.BA 

SONGS and SPECIALTIES Bey. 



(re-enter 1,1. D" ) 
i-1- P. 



Oh, your highness - .your ] ave has escaped again! 

Bey. 

[ag itated) Again! She's worse than the measles for 
breaking out. Call me a cab. 

(M. D. proes un to Bey and says to him) 



Cab? 

(Bey turns quickly and looks nuzzled) 
3ey. 
What arc you doing? 

::.D. 



You told me to call you a cab and I'^e called yen one . 

(Bey shpT7s by uplifted hands end gestures 

that that is too much for him -■ 

exeunt. ) 



(change to scene 11.) 



i ■ 



A B A S C 0. 



R.A. 



ACT 11, 



SCENE 11, 



"TABASCO, 



ACT 11. SCEN1 



1 PRCPCRTV 

R. A- 



(Street scone i ^an r 'icT Qi rl rvfcrrsnt. 

showing walls of town etc., made pictures- 
que by booths etc. Mahc- street life 



realistic and effective -fit h ' i}it.s" nf 
local color.) 



P E N I N G C II R U S. 



(Come down from out of crowd Marco and Eav. 
Former disRuised as a letter writer 



latter as a flower girl) 



Fav. 



I'm so nervous. Did you see those two pedlars following 
us? 

Marco. 



(arranges writing table) Nonsense ~y love. No one 
is i'o .1 lowing" us. They would not recognize us if they 
did. 

Fav, 



(r unning to Marco's arms) (screams) There's the Bey 
and he's coming here! He's furious! Oh, I shall 

faint ! 



Marco. 

Courage! You are a simple flower girl. Call your wares! 

(enter Bey) 

( very t i: ri Ily ) Fl owers ! Sweet Flower s ! 

arco. 

Love letters written with despat 1 Fervor! 

tincr: ad Iressed! 

rdv, 



(witsi mere ccnfi : :cc) Flowers! Sweet sir! 

3uv mm fl owers ! 



n 



bey. 



Buy nothii (Fay, shrinks from him) Can't you see 

iot look flowery to me to-day? Have you a 
license to peddle? 

(Fav. very much afraid llrrco motions 

Cor her to say "yes J?) ___ 



Fav- 



\ r 



les sir. 



1 PROPERTY 
Bey. R. A. BARNET. 



( locking at her intently) You look lamr. familiar, 

excuse me for saying" "damn" — but in ray present 

mood profanity is my only solace. (savamcl y) 

You haven't any relative by the name of Favorita. 

Fav. 



(trembling) No - No - No - No - No sir ! 

Bey. 

You "no" too much perhaps. You're not a brother or 
sister to anybody? 

Fav. 



(very cmickl y.l_ Oh, no sir! (Marco corrects her) 
Oh, yes sir! "There's my sister my brother. 

(Fav» who has been to 1:1 by iiercc to do it 

goes un and begins ,y )lacin r flower in 

Bey's buttonhole. Tries to smile upon 
him. ) _^___ 



Bey. 



Are you in the chorus? I mean, it seems as though I had 
seen you before, (Bey luring snecc.", rets impressed end 
3 '' ler attentions chucks hcrunlcr the 



chin) Lodk in the Herat:] persona] column to-morrow. 
I will sign "violets." (going off) It's rem; ile 

how popular I ; le ladies! 1 (exit) 

- Fav» 



(collapses) Oh i.iarco ! If he had stayed a minute 

longer I should nave feinted. 



tar co . 



dear! Courage! 

Fay . 



J 






R. A. E 



Here come tnese two pedlars. T am sure they are follow- 
ing us. 

i.iarco. 



Wxiat a silly little thing yen are! Even if they are 
(embracing her) yon can't blame them dear, yen are look 
ing so charming. 

(Enter Nopette and Grand Vizier disguised 
* as street fakers. ) 



D U El Street Fakers. 



G. V. 
Now what arc you working up? 

[opette . 
r track! 

G. V. 



Then there be a collision. 

Nopettc. 



m,uM,scn 

R, A. Bar net. 



Our c iracy is i 1 success. 

G. V. 

(speaking rabidly and decidedly) That's a box office 
notice! Sec here, I don't think much of this conspiracy 
"combine" here I a; - been conspiring — - — severe-! 

tii ct things fixed and you say wait till I "fix" that 

Favor it a. (disgusted) Wait! (v ery earnestly) 

Young woman! this Is no stand off! I'm not m this 
conspiracy for soap! money ! moss-agates! marbles! or 
fun! I'm in it for business!! b-i-z-n-u-s. You 
said in the first act be fere most of the people were here 
"Let us conspire together." I said, "Is there any 

need of being together. " ( turning .quickly to prom pt 

side) Didn't I? 

(voice outside) 

Lat,' s right! 

G V 



See! Nov if you had lot me alone I would have killed 
the Bey before the curtain rang up!- No 13 ey ! No 
play! I would have had my revenge and blessings of a 
( gesture towards audience ) suffering public - if I had 
been alone. But I wasn't. We have r conspiracy — 

)1 with em —but together —and? we haven't ' : 

"spired" a blamed thing! 

Nopette. 



Be patient a little while longer! 

G.V. 



* r. 



You - ien you say "be patient.." "I have 

decided tc "star" u gement* 

DDette. 



Oh wait, I thi .ght. 

G. V. 



I dynamite! (dinna night) (holding m) box. ) 

)pette. 
That Scotch joke 1 "queer" a y c is iii py. 

Of. V . 

It's yci ■ ;ucer" this one. To- lay is St. 

Valentine's » I'm going tc : bey a valentine.. 

Nopette- 

A comic one? Wi^ki 

Jl PROPERTY OF ^ 

G - V - R. A. BARNET 

(neds head) It will . him all up - it's full of 

dynamite! I want somebody tc ad ress it. Oh there's 
a letter writer.. (going towards him) Now you will see 
what I can dc alone. I goes up tc Marco) I want this 
addressed and sent to 

(Nonet te has recognized Fay, and Marco 
without saying auyt.iiiu she g" abs U-. V. 
and pulls him off. Me tries unsuccessfull y 
to tree ninseii" as .ic exits. ) ' ^____ 



G. V. 



Let me alone sent to the see here ! 

No, no not the "sea here 11 but the Bey. Understand? 
(exit) 



Fav. 



Oh Marco, tnat's Nopette we arc surely discovered. Let's 

fly. 

Marco. 



Mo, we must wait for Francois as we promised.. have no 



to *"• 



fear. 

Fay. 
Here's the Bey returning! We're surely lost now! 

(enter Bey) 
Be] . 



ray of . ui it in the gathered gloom of the day 

I've got the best comic valentine tc I to the Grand 

Vizier to call h 1. It's a corker. (tc Marco) 

Just 1 this to the Grand Vizier. J _to 

exit ciuckling) Lthe < he sees it. 

It's a couple of jackasses ai )ath in red letters 

it says, "When shall we three meet again." lie's so proud 
and sensitive, it will kill him^ It's such an original 
i lea. ( exit ) 

. 



See my dear yoi are safe and loo!: here's Francois and Lola 

(e Titer Fran, and Lola. Fay, gees up 

to them.,— \ iar .0 call:: a street gaoin) 



r <. v / . 



( v e ry co qu e 1 1 i s illy ) Fl - re r s ! 

j r ai 1 . 



What a beautiful creature! 

Lola. 
( j ealous) Mike ! 



T 

ft A- Barn et 



(Fav. bursts out laimiin g dhny re-en rr-^ 

nize her. Tue trio suakenands.) 



_Fran. 
Where' ; Marco. 



(Fav. points to where he is. lie is evident 




ly nonplussed over the boxes. They are 


both alike and he doesn't knnw whinh to 


address to the Bey - which for the Grand 



Vizier) 



lar 



Favorita. ! dc 
dch? 



which these bo: is 



J. 1 <~> " . 



No rho': here! 

has had it bothers him, 



It' s the c ' :iness 



<--/ <v> 



(a:l 'res:,- tne ) I'll chance it. (writes) ( s ends 
boxes street erenhn a:.. I comes down) Oh, welcome dear 

friends! ~7shrJ.:cs hands with Francois ar es Lola) 



QUART 



rp Ti T? 



T 



R. A. Bap 



Marco - Fran. - Fav. - and Lola. 



How 



Marco. 



our future Francois? Blooming? 



Frar 



All well. The Bey is provoked but my influence over him 
is wonderful. I'm the "fad." I'm the hero of the hour.. 

"Tabasco" is everything everything. The Tabasco 

Ball in the Tabasco hall by the Tabasco ballet to-night 
will be one of the wonders of the age. 'The Duke of 
Tabasco is all powerful. (enter Ilopette and Grand 



Vizier witn soldiers ) My influence isgr eat and universal 

(arrest of Fay, an d Liar co. Fran, tries to prevent 
arrest ar is repul sed" 

and Lola. ) ==== ~~ == 



= exeunt omneS exceat Fran. 



.Co f a. 



ras your i -e? 

Fran. 



; my larling influe - is : hy creature. It comes ; 
goes. 



I saw i : - - ! 



Lol . 



Fran. 



1 PROPERTY OF V/ 

r. A. BaRNET. 



All rill ; we 1 ' ive 

Lcl. . 



»s what I'm afraid they'll brother* 

Fran. 

Co : a] , when yc said .. ; li le word thatmade rtie 

a happiest man in all the world, 
Is lit all gone? 

Lol:... 

(smilinn a-,.... in his arms. ) Mike, there's something 

about yen that 1 easst res ist . 

Fran. 



Darling, there's somethi t yc i • s 1 f ( -Ir aw i nr at ten. 

tion to his arms uciir" abont her -aist) t hat you can't 
resist. Umsrs her. ) ~~ ~~ 



D [J E T. 



SPECIALTII 



Francois and Lola. 



(change to scene 11 1 



» T / '. S C 0. 



1 PROPERTY 



ACT 11. 



SCENE 111. 



■ T A .3 A SCO." 
ACT 11. SCENE 111. 



Hall of "Tabasco. 



; 



P 
R. A. B 



a. BALLET. 



b. SPECIALTY. 



c. SPECIALTY. 



. ,llet specialties over) 



G R A N D V C A I, I.I ARCH 



» T A -3 A G C 0. 



1 PROPERTY OF v/ 

R. A. BARNET. 



Center pC (hurt. After all in enter of 

Bey, Nopette and liar em 3ev seats 

h ins elf on the throne) 



(enter Major Demo)" 



M. D. 



His highness, Duke of Tabasco. 



( enter Fran, and Lola in gorgecus attir< 
with attendant:". . ) 

Fran. 



(speaking coring down) 1 her highness Duchess of 
Tabasco. (k neeling at throne. ) P opper, your blessing. 

Bey. 



(bus of count in r " as children do in games) Eenty 

meenty monty my tusca lona bona 

stry Kay bell broken — —well we ! wo ! 

-nack! Is there anything else Duke? No trouble to show 
goods! 

Fran. 



You promised me to-night your "Beyness" anything I like! 



Bev. 



V 



•-ill - ,.•- take, the soie? 

Fran, 



Release Favor it rco. 



Bey. 



You mch ut I'll keep my word thoughit makes trie 

writhe Exci le while I writhe* (tvrr s back to 

av-1 ic-.ee s xrt -usincss) (to nalcr Demo) 

Elongate Favorita and Marco! 



. r .. 



I don't - Xur hi s ! 



X pp- 

R. 



ut! (exit M. D. ) 



Nopette. 

Oh sire, may I hope when she's away to be again your 
• popsey wopsey?" 

(enter - -orita.) 



Bey. 



Berhapsy wapsyH ( to Marco an 1 Favorita) You 7 r< 

free you're both pardoned! Favorita., I did think 

once that you would be my valentine, but I'm left. 

Nopet : "o. 



Not tirely yen have " i sec and me. 

Bey. 

Beth can make it hot for me. 

(enter I.I D. r.nd cones down with bo 
for Bey. ) 



M. D. 



A valentine, your highness! 



Nopette. 

(alarmed and h~rabs the Bey ) Greet Heav n it's the 
Vizier's. Oh, do not open it! I beseech you tc listen 
to me ! 

(Bey throws her hrem hi m ^mc Cells on her 

knees "pTctr.rc o^x-Sheir nuts her 

h: ah- tc her errs Bey cecae box during 



speech ~crk this b'esinc se ■:•;) 



Bey. 



Birdie Othello there y ar jealous again! Per- 
sians 1 have some i: ] w admirer so; - tysterioi: 

l. n Hello ! d tine for the 

Vi r ! t did the Vizier ret? 

Nopette. 



I k: ow not sire! ut I do know \ that you 

y ] ] receive ; a box of dynamite for ycu valentine. 



i.iarco. 



I can explain! 1 was the letter writer that addressed 

both the boxes t ley " r erc alike I must have e ] ■- 

a, m is t ak e . 

Bey. 



(delighted shakes hands -rjth karcc en:! joins his 

hand s ^ i t h Favo r i t a ' s ) ^;cnercl '.y snaking hands and~ 
embracing pcon le")_ "Hot at all my boy! You made no 
mistake. The Grand Vizier made themistake! Has any 
one heard if e be got his valentine? 

(explosion outside.) 



Bey. 

I've heard! He's got it! Favor ita 1 knew you would 
bring happiness to me. You and Marco have been the 
means of saving my life. Bless you my children! 



r 



h. 



F I N A L E 



PRO 

R. A. 



/r^> 



WOK*" U 



•> 






- P?.J I WiMr^ 



I 



by 



1 



Ji 




T, 



Burlesque Oper; 



■ TABASCO." 



by 



R. A. B A R N E T. 



Copyright 189 b, by Pv. A. Barnet. 



2. 

"TABASCO." 
Cast. 

Dennis 0* Grady afterwards Francois. 

Hot-heddam Pasha, Bey of Tanriers. 

Marco, A Spanish Trader. 

Ben-Midden, Grand Vizier. 

Exhausted Hawkins. 

Dusty Rliodes. 

Ambassador. 

Attendant. 

Ben-Abe-Ab-Der-U-IIassem. 

Fatima. The Beautiful Slave. 

Hasbeena. A Third Term Harem Favorite 

Saidee Has s em. 

Lola, Marco's Sister. 



(DOO 



s. 



"TABASCO. 



Act 1. 

Square and quay at Tangier c. 

Act 11. 
Scene 1. The Palace Garden. 
Scene 2. The Bey's Palace, Tangier s. 



oOo 



4. 



TABASCO, 



Act 1. 



5. 

"TABASCO." 
Act 1. 



OPENING CHORUS, 



(Enter Exhausted Hawkins and Dusty Rhodes 
with frags containing' bottles of Tabasco 
Sauce.) 



Hawkins . 

What does it remind you of Dusty? 

Dusty. 
The midway! 

Hawkins . 

(offering Tabasco sauce) There you have it! The most 
marvellous discovery of the age, Tabasco! Cures anything 
from hams to that tired feeling! 

Dusty. 

(Also offering Tabasco sauce) It is also a first class 
furniture polish! 

Hawkins . 

And as a lighting eEadicator it will knock the spots out 
of a leopard. 

Dusty. 

Remember this is not a pa/tent medicine but a private 
prescription of his Pv,oveJ. Majesty the Cuspidore of Swat! 

Hawkins. 

It is also highly recommended by such eminent people as 
the Arcade of Alcovzar and the Bovzaar of Casino. 



6. 

Crowd. 
Oh get out! Bah! Ha! Ha! Move on! Nonsense! etc. etc. 

Hawkins. 
No use Dusty old pard. Can't sell it at any price. 

Dusty. 
May be hot stuff but it's a frost! 

Hawkins. 

Yesterday as we were walking along the Beach looking for 
work, with our eyes shut, and that box of Tabasco floated 
ashore at our feet, I thought we were going to get a head. 
( working clothes ) Dust y , I ' m goi ng int o a de cl ine ! 

Dusty. 
I haven't been asked yet. Hush! I've got an idea! 

Hawkins . 
Come in here and get rid of it. 

(Exit tramps into Inn) 

Lola. 

(off) Ola! Ola! (enter R. U. E.) Ah SenOras y senoritas! 
(come down steps) Ven acat (at C. ) (Ven aca" is Spanish 
and means (stamps foot) Come here! (crowd come) Look 
at these beautiful Cadiz laces, nine piastres! They are 
really worth six piastres but as it is bargain day- I'll 
letyou heave them for nine. (crowd gather around and buy — 
retire) Bueno ! All gone! Lola the Andalusia maid may 

look simple but commercially she is a pajarito she's 

a bird! 



Song Lola. 



t i 



7. 

(enter Marco.) 

Lola. 

I've sold everything and here's the money. What is your 
name? 

Sad. H. 

Saidee Has s em! 

Lola. 

Do you often has 'em bad? (exit Sad. H. ) Oh those 
lovely soldiers! Next to a new bonnet there's nothing 
a woman loves so much as a soldier! 

Mar ecu 

I've got past the age when wooden soldiers can make me 
happy ! 

Lola. 

Oh dear! Are we in love? 

Marco . 

Nothing of the sort! gJan't a fellow look sober and 
thoughtful and 

Lola. 

Silly! 

Marco. 
Lola you are not funny! 

Lola. 
But you are ! 

Marco. 

Our good luck of to-day <&nly shows up the bad luck of 
others 2 That's why I'm sad. You saw the lovely slave 



8. 

chained on board the vessel that we passed yesterday. 
Fortune was not smiling" on her. I pity her so much I 
cannot get her out of my head. 

Lol?w. 

Oh yes you can, you've got her into your heart! Marco 
stop thinking" of beautiful slaves. There's no money in 
it and it's wearing! 

Marco. 

Curse my ill luck! 

Lola. 

That's wearing too! I do so love the military! I think 
you are just too sweet for anything. 

(Enter Hawkins and Dusty Ehodes eating 
sandwiches. ) 

Hawkins . 

(to Marco) Pardon me sir! We are introducing a new and 
delightful compound. May we trespass upon your valuable 
time to show you the goods. 

Marco. 

NO! 

Dusty. 

(throws sandwich — — Hawkins catches it in the bag) (to 
Lola) Pardon me lady! We are introducing a new and 
delightful compound. May we trespass upon your valuable 

Lola. 

No! Oh that fat soldier upon the end. 

(Enter deaf and dumb man) 

Hawkins. 

(to deaf and dumb man) Now then sir! Don't forget the 
little ones at home, only one dime! 



9. 

Dusty. 

As a special inducement for to-day only I am offering 
the same goods at half the money! 

Hawkins. 

Remember we have no connection with the establishment 
across the street. Come to head quarters and obtain the 
genuine article at ten cents or three bottles for five. 

(Business of deaf and dumb man showing 
placard}) 

Crowd. 

Ha.! Ha! 

" 3WKLI1S . 



That's right! Have a laugh with us! It is the only 
thing you can have at our expense. 

Hawkins and Dusty. 

We repudiate you! 

Crowd. 
What! 

Dusty. 

(takes out small American flag) Stand back! We are under 
the protection of the American, flag. 

(Crowd retire.) 

(Exit tramps L, I. E. ) 

(Flourish R. I. E. off " enter page) 

Page. 

Room Tor his Excellency Ben Hidden, the Pasha's Grand 
Vizier. 

(Crowd salaam enter Grand Vizier) 



10. 



G.V. 

I am. a crank! (all exeunt quickly, precipitately) 
Good! that's what I like. I yearn to be looked upon as 
menace to society. I positively revel in the thought that 
somebody's afraid of me. If I could acquire a reputation 
as a deep dyed devilish dynamiter life would be a dream 
Of joy, but alas! my shape queers me and instead of being 
looked upon as a villain, most people take jfie for a 
Sunday School Superintendent. But my time will come! 
My time will come! (bus) There's the pawnticket! 

Hasbeena. 

(off) Oh that Pasha! (screams) A hi 

G. V. 

There's the one o'clock whistle! No! it's only Hasbeena 
the Pasha's excess baggage. I loved that woman at first 
sight but fortunately I was gifted with second sight. 
(steps off) Soft she comes! 

(Enter Hasbeena) 

Hasbeena. 
It's hard! It's hard! Oh that Pasha! 

G.V. 
Isn't she cute! 

xias e ena. 
For twenty years I've been the favorite of the Harem. 

G.V. 
It's the last time I'll play favorite again. 

Hasbeena. 

Until now I have moulded thought for Tangiers, fashioned 
fads, been talked about. 

G.V. 
Often! 



r i 



11. 

Has. 

But now I'm in danger of being" commonplace and respectable 
But I know the reason! The Sultan is sending to Tangier s 
a beautiful slave who is to replace me as favorite. 
She shall never do it ! (grabs G. V. ) 

G.V. 
Mother ! Mother ! 

lias. 
Ben hidden, something dreadful is going to happen. 

G.V. 
Yes, I'm going to choke if you don't let go 

Has. 

Bah! (releasing him) The Pasha is in a state bordering 
upon frenzy, on account of his anxiety to see the new 
slave and his indigestion. I must do something at 
nnce. 

G.V. 
Well do it! 

Has. 
(bus) Ben Hidden join me in a conspiracy! 

G.V. 
Ha! a conspiracy! 

Has . 
You hate the Pasha? 

G.V. 
Yes ! 



12. 

Has. 

Why! Tell me why! 

G.V. 

(tries to pull Kasbeena to C.) I decline to enter into 
the conspiracy business with you unless 3 r ou put yourself 
on castors. It is a sad, sad story! 

I .as . 

Tell it me. 

G.V. 

Twelve years ago I was an officer in the Tangiers Militia 
In those days I was accounted the handsomest man in 

Has. 

Don't tell it! 

G.V. 

That's right! Everybody humiliates me! I ought to be a 
door-mat chained to somebody's piazza with "please wipe 
your feet" painted on my back! 

Has. 

Enough! We have a common cause and must stick together. 
I'll help you kill the Pasha if you will help me dispose 
of the slave. 

G.V. 

It's a bargain. 

Has. 

Come! Gome! (Exit L, I. E. ) 



is. 

G.V. 

Ha! Ha! At last I have an opportunity to be real devilish, 
I'm so tickled I can hardly refrain from giving it all 
away to some newspaper reporter. I'll get Hasbeena to do 
most of the work and then I'll betray her to the Pasha. 
(bus) What a strange presentiment, I feel as if something 
terrible was leading me on. 

(Exit Hasbeena and Grand Vizier) 
(Enter Chorus enter Pasha.) 

irasna. 

I'm popular with my subjects this morning, (tape measure 
business) Two inches lower than yesterday! 



ENSEMBLE. 



Song Pasha. 



I DO NOT CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY. 



(Enter Hasbeena and Gfand Vizier.) 

Pasha* 

How chilly it is this morning. 

G.V. 

(bus) Chilly! We had to put the thermometer in the ice 
box to keep it from boiling over! 



14. 

Pasha. 

I said it was chilly! This is my country — this is my 
morning this is my weather — and I say it is chilly! 

G.V. 

Chilly goes! 

lr asna. 

It goes or you go! (bus) 

( 8 nt e r 3 acl . ] ~a:: s em. ) 
Gad Hassem, 
The mail has arrived, 

Pasha. 
Well why don't you pass it along. Agitate yourself. 

Has. 
(crossing II.) I hope there's a letter from Mama. 

G.V. 
Llama must be quite a big girl now. 

ir asna. 
I wonder who this is from? 

G.V. 
I just wonder! I have it! Open it and see! , 

Pc^sha,. 
Don't irritate me! 

ENSEMBLE, 
Reading of the Li a il. 



15. 

Pasha. 

Do you mean to say that I cannot add a few novelties to my 
harem stock. 

Has. 

No, but you can't mark us down and put us on a bargain 
counter. 

Pasha. 

My sweet young Vassar graduate, if you think you can run 

this monarchy you are mistaken. If there is any in- 
timidation I'll discharge the whole harem. 

Has . 

Don't you dare to bring that young person here. 

Pasha. 

"Person! 8 See here! I am the first person singular poss- 
essive case. You're the second person plural and if you 
get into the objective case, I'll have a third person 

put you into a subjunctive mood. (bus army) Will you 

get on the other side of the world? Do I get any 
breakfast to-day? 

Has. 

BreaEfast! Well your highness — you see — that is — 

I'm afraid you will have to get along this morning with a 
little cold lunch. 

What! Cold lunch! 

G.V. 

There is no cook in the house. 



16. 

Pasha, 

No cook? I remember, I had him executed last night, but he 
deserved his fate. So did all the others. I want my food 
seasoned. None of your "wishy-washy" cooking school 
dishes for me. My food must bite, it must burn, it must 
sizzle! Before to-night get me a cook who knows his 
business, or by Allah you will be a head shorter! 

G.V. 

Mercy your highness ! 

We are all out of Mercy this morning. Look to it that you 
secure me a cook that understands how to cook red hot 
dishes, ever: if you have to get one with a recommendation 

from the old boy himself. Begone! 

(Exit chorus and all) 

G.V. 

Oh this is becoming interesting. I'm a nice competant 
villain. Jut beware Pasha! I am a crank and every crank 
has its turn. I'll do my "turn" now. 



Son? Grand Vizier. 



(Exit Enter male chorus at back along 

platform all gazing terror stricken 

out to sea. Men with telescopes. Women 
enter R. and L. and group R. and L. all 
gazing inquiringly at men on platform. 
Few bars of "terror-stricken" music to 
bring chorus on. ) 



17. 

Chorus. 

What means this strange commotion in our quiet bay, 
What terror of the brin} deep now comes this; way, 

Oh can it be, 

That we're to see 
The famed sea serpent or some monster of a bygone day 

Oh horror ! Oh horror ! 

Men. 

Behold froii out the waves it lifts its head, 
Its eyeballs glare its mane is fiery red! 

Women. 

Behold from out the waves its lifts its head, 
Its eyeballs glare its mane is fiery red. 
Oh horror! Oh horror I On horror! 

(Symphony Lien pull Dennis asnore) 

Dennis. 

Oh murder! Be jabers! Begorrah! 

(Symphony Dennis comes down) 

Dennis. 

(All crowd shrink from him) 

Good people all one moment stay, 
I'm but a poor wet castaway 
Why do they pause and fro,:-, me shrink 
I've made a hit I do not think! 



S o n ft Dennis. 



Swim Out ' Grady 



18. 
(After song) 

Has. 
Why you're only a man after all. 

Dennis. 
Eh! Only a man? What did you thud: I was a horse car? 

Has. 
We mistook you for a sea serpent,, 

Dennis. 
Oh, a sea serpent ! I must ;je a dream in the water ! 

Has . 
Young man, you're pretty wet aren't you? 

Dermis. 

No, I'm dry! Yes, I'm right in the swim! (wringing out 
necktie) Oh well, a little water won't hurt me! I didn't 
swallow any. It was very kind of you all to invite me in 
out of the wet, but now you have me what are you going to 

do with me. 

Has. 
Haven't you any money? 

Denni s . 

Busted completely! 

Has. 
And no friends? 

Dennis. 
Didn't I say I was broke? 



19. 

Sad. Hassem. 
Then you'd better move on. We hang beggars in Tangiers. 

Crowd. 
Yes, hang the:.:! 

Dennis. 

(pulling two horse pistols) Oh you do eh! Well come on 
then! (crowd scream and exit) (snaps pistols) Look at 
them run! That's a good joke! Sure these wouldn't hurt a 
m -. there're horse pistol::. What'll I do at all, here I 
am stranded in a strange country and :~ heathen country at 
that. I can't eve: ^ pistols. They're already 
s caked ! ( p ours out wat er ) 

(Enter tramps) 

Hawkins and Dusty. 

(slapping him on back) Pardou us! 

Dermis. 

As you were! (presenting pistols) 

Hawkins. 

Don't get excited! We only wish to call your attention to- 

Dennis. 

Never mind. I know you! You're life insurance agents. 
I'm full of worriment. 

Dusty. 
Just the stuff you want. It cures that tired feeling. 

Hawkins. 
Try it before purchasing. 

Dennis. 

Well that's fair enough* There's no harm in trying it 



20. 
anyhow. How ouch do you take? 

Hawkins* 
Oh drink hearty. 

Dennis. 

(chuckling) And I've no money! Begorrah they don't know 
I haven* t got a cent. That's a good joke. I'll drink 
a whole bottle then tell then: I don't like it. Take all 
I want I suppose. 

Dusty. 

That's right pardnerl 

Dennis. 

Oh it's a mean trick but I can't resist the temptation 
An Irishman must have his joke. Well here goes! 

(drinks dances around stage) 

Hawkins. 

Sneak Dusty! He's got a fit! 

(Exit tramps) 

Dennis. 

Howly murder! What was that] (picks up bottle reads) 

"Tabasco!" I feel as if I'd swallowed a fire cracker. 
(puts bottle in pocket) It's my own fault. I ought to 
know better than drink with strangers. I wonder where 
there's a, cloathes line that isn't working, I'd like to 
hang myself up to dry! (enter Grand Vizier) 

G.V. 

It's no use, I can't find a cook. There is but one 
course left me suicide! I will bury my woes in the deep 
Slue sea. (goes up to G. and oumps into Dennis) 

Dennis . 

\7hy don't you lock where I'm going! 



2: 



a. 

G.V. 

Don't stop me! I am going to commit suicide. 

Dennis. 

Don't do it ! I know a fellow that committed suicide 
and it killed him. 

G.V. 

The Pasha is going to execute me to-night so I'm going 
to kill myself now. 

Dennis. 

You're a fool! You don't want to die to-night so you 
arc going to kill yourself now. What has thePasha agin 
ye! 

G.V. 

Last night he ordered' the cook to be sewn in a bag and 
thrown into the sea and he hasn't returned. 

Dennis. 

Maybe he thinks it's his Sunday out! 

G.V. 

The Pasha ordered me to secure him another cook before 
to-night or die. 

Dennis. 
You say you want a cook? 

G.V. 
Yes ! 

Dennis. 

What's the matter with me! That was my business up to an 
hour ago ! 



I ' u 



Oh joy! Oh joy! 



22. 
G.V. 

Dennis. 



Not "Oh joy" but 0' Grady! I was cook on board the Irish 
Queen but I had a failing out. I fell overboard! 

G.V. 

You have saved my life! I'll make you the Pasha's French 
chef at a salary of 1,000 piastres a month. 

Dennis. 

I'll take it! 

G.V. 
By the way do you speak French? 

Dennis. 

Well, not fluently. i3ut I can speak it so that nobody can 
understand me. 

G.V. 

If you can do that you'll do, for like all e.ristocrats 
the Pasha admires what he can't understand. Come to the 
kitchen ! 

(Exit G. V., R. 2. E. ) 
Dennis. 

Oooroo Dennis! Your fortunes made! 1,000 piastres a 
month. Begorrah I'll work a month and then go back home 
buy England and sink it. 

(Exit Dennis R.' 2. E. ) 

(Enter Fatima and slave) 

Slave. 

Here, slave, is your future home! 



25. 

Fatima. 
Oh spare me! 

Slave. 
For what? Slaves are never spared. 

Fatima. 
Oh woe is me! Is there no one to help me? 



r at ima . 



Fatima.. 

Some- one comes. Perchance some sweet friend. 

(Enter Hasbeena R. 2. E. and Grand Vizier) 

Hasbeena. 

'Tis she, the slave! 

G.V. 

Who are you? 

Fatima. 

A slave sent to the Pasha as a gift from the Sultan. 
Kind lady help me! Let me not see this monster! 

Hasbeena.. 

You'll not see him if I can help it. I'm going to throw 
you Overboard! 



24. 
Fatima. 



Ah! 



Has. 
(to G. V.) Aren't you in this? Give ms a lift! 

G.V. 
But not for me ! 

Hasbeena. 
Coward! But alone I'll do it! Prepare! 

(enter larco) 

Marco. 
I will protect you from all harm. 

G.V. 
They're off! 

(Exit G.V. and Hasbeena) 

Fatima. 
Oh you Will, I know that you will! 

Marco. 

Lola, - Lola is my sister - is with me on the boat. 
She will care for you - as I fear I do now. 

Lola. 

(entering) Hello! Marco has found his beautiful slave. 
Hrn! Hm! Introduce me! 

liar co. 

This is Fatima. She is sent by the Sultan to the Pasha. 



25. 
Fatima. 

Yes I came in yonder ship and the attendants who brought 
me have gone to notify the Pasha, of our arrival. They 
may be here any minute so quickly conceal me! 

Marco. 

Go on board my ship! Lola this is serious! Something 
must be done ! 

Lola-. 

I have it! I'll put Fatiraa in the clothes of one of our 
sailors and send him ashore in hers. That will give us a 
start and give the Pasha a start too. 

Marco. 
Oh woman! woman! How often you get us out of a scrape) 

(Exit Marco and Fatima) 

Lola. 
Yes and how often we get you into one. 

(Exit) 

(Enter Pasha and Court) 
(enter Sad. Kassem. ) 

Sad Has s em. 

'There will your highness have breakfast served? 

Pasha. 

Hera! I want air! I'm in a, comfortable state to eat. 

Kasbeena. 

It's your own fault! 

i asna. 

Can I help it if the Sultan sends me a present? (throwing 
things around generally) Who frapped these victuals? 
Who did I say? I've nevertasted such miserable stuff! 
Sand me the cook! Send me all the cooks! (Exit Grand Vizis 



26. 

I'll show them their business! I'll teach thorn to serve 
me such mi 11 : and wat e r y food. ( e nt e r c o oks wi tn G. V . ) 
Oh there you are! Who cooked this? Answer ire ! 
Who cooked this vile stuff? 

1st. cook. 

Your highness, it was Francois the new chef. 

Francois, the new chef, eh! Send him to me* (Exit G. V.) 
Let me get at him: I want my food to sting and bite 
I want some "snap" to my meals; 

Hasbeena. 

Better try some fire crackers. 

(Glass crash off and enter Dennis with 

pan and closing on G. V. Dennis th 

throws cleaner on stage picture) 

Denni s . 

Sacre je suis allezmus ©n pour boiee Los Angelis 
Californy. Who sent for me? I was making one symphony 
ze oyster stew, I need onl:.. one thing to make him perfect, 
ze oyster, when Brrr! I was interrupted by this round fac- 
ed monkey. Who dare disturb me, ze chef! 

Pasha. 

I sent for you. 

Dennis. 

You sent for me, you dyspeptic half baked hat rack. 
are you? 



Pasha. 

Your superior! 

Dennis. 

Superior to a chef. (bus. on chair) You must be ze 
janet aire! 



27. 

Pasha, 
What do you call this? (showing pie) 

Dennis. 
Thi . I call* this" a laran good bite. 

Pasha. 
What! What do you call this? ""/hat is it? 

Dennis. 

What is it? No, it is not "what is eat." It is, 
lat is left! ■ 

JraSha. 

T 7hat isthe name of this mess? 

Dennis. 

Ze name. Oh yes! (aside) What the divil is it you call 
Washington Pie in French. (aloud) Zat is one grand 

pate du torpedo, sauce a la Kerosene. 

l asna . 

It's enough to feeze my marrow. You call yourself a 
cook? 

Dennis. 

No! You wish to insult me? I am not ze cook, I am ze 

chef. 

i asna. 
What's the difference? 

Dennis. 
&200 a week. 

Pasha. 

See here, Frenchy do you think I can stand this diet? 



28. 

Dennis. 
Not unless you get a new fire pot in. 

G.V. 
Ha! Ha! (business) 

Pasha. 

There's another thing, when I order 'pomme du terre" I 
want more "pomme" and less "terra". 

Dennis. 

Ah! You do not want ze earth? 

Hasbeena. 

I'm sure Francois did very well this morning. T7e think 
the breakfast was delightful don't we girls. 

Harenx. 

Yes indeed we do. 

Dennis. 

Un ladies ze compliment from your two lips is sweeter 
than the flowers that bloom in ze Spring. 

Harem. 

Tra la! 

Pasha . 

Who asked your opinion. Go and darn my socks. The rest of 
you get out! As for you bri.^g me a dish that is hot, 
that bubbles that ^cils as it goes down or you die. 

Dennis. 

here's the stuff will thaw out the Pasha's f rapped palate 
I'll give him a dose of it that'll make him think he's a 
dead man and gone to his reward! 



9. 



You are ze hot stuff but hero is your twin and nay the 
lord stand betune me and harm. 

Pasha. 

(drinks it with great relish) Gosh that rood! It's 
great ! 

Denni s . 

That man has a gas pipe stomach. 

Pasha. 

That is what I've been longi lg for. Ask your own reward 
A3 /thing in the world is yours. What's the name of these 
goods. 

Dennis. 

It is called ze Tabasco. 

Then I make you Bey of Tabasco! Hail to the Bey of 

Tabasco ! 

Chorus. 

kail to the i3ey of Tabasco! 



ENSEMBLE. 



Hail to the Bey of Tabasco. 



Dennis. 

(after song exeunt omnes but Dennis) I shall endeavor- 
to be an honor to the 400. I'll buy a box of cheap note 
paper and have my monogram printed on it. It shall be a 
mock turtle ong rampong with ze motto "colicum indigesti 
bus gastritis. 3 and I shall give a grand banquet at the 



so. 

villa Tabasco on the second Thursda} of ever} week. 

(Enter Lola. ) 

Lola. 

A stranger! (tries to pass him) 

Benin s . 

(stoppi: her) Wait a minu little dear! Begorrah 
iese i. i heathens are sweet enough bo kiss. I think 
I will steal a kiss fro,.: this one. 

Lola. 

You can have it but spare my life. Oh sir, you won't 
&i\ - i up ! 

Dennis. 

I'll not! I know a good thing when I see it. 

Lola. 

You too, are a stranger in Tangiers. You will help me 
get away from the Bey? 

Dennis. 

I will that, for what is a Bey? Webster's Dictionary in- 
forms me that "a bay is an arm of the sea" and "what is an 
arm of the sea" against the a i m of an Irishman! 

Lola. 

Do you know, there is something about you that I can't re- 
sist! 

Dennis. 

No, it's about you! Ah darlint you're too dacent a girl 
for a heathen. Whist! Some night when the moon is tipping 
the waters with silver and the little stars are playing 
tag in the clear blue sky, we'll meet outside the palace 
gate and in the <&a1Lm stillness of the night, we'll 
give Tangiers the cold and clammy shake. We'll fly to the 
land of the potheen and praties and you can be my "ducky- 



_.-,. 



ol. 

ducky" and I will l>o your "tootsy-wootsy. 11 Fly oh fly 
with me ! 

Lola. 

Jut suppose the Pasha catches us and cuts off cur heads. 

Dennis. 

Then the "fly" is off! But I'm in as much _,cr as you 
are. I'm the Pasha's new Trench cook. 

Lola. 

French? What's your name? 

Dennis. 

Wheat was this the Grand Visiaria said I must call myself? 
Oh yes! Franchoire! 

Lola. 

What? 

Dennis . 

Francois! What's my stage name. My maiden name is 
Dennis. But as I was saying I may lose my head any time* 
: l:h3 Pasha, I am informed, generally kills a cookabout 
every two or three days, ana I'm duu about the day after 
to-morrow, 

Lola,. 

I don't exactly relish the idea of having a beau with 
one foot in the grave. 

Dennis. 

I'm sa,fe enough. I couldn't get the other foot in the 
same grave. 

Lola,. 

There's a hair on your shoulder and it isn't mine. That 
shows where you've been* 



r 
■i 



32. 

Dennis* 

No, it shows where somebody else has been. 

Lola. 

Have you ever loved a girl before? 

Denni . 

Only you darlint and about nine others. 

Lois. 

Ah, I always thought I was mean't lor an Irishwoman! 

Den;, a;:,. 

You're wrong! You were mean't Tor an Irishman and I'm 
the mam 



Duet. 
Dennis and Lola. 



(Exit Dennis and Lola after duet) 
(Entrance of Pasha and Grand Vizier) 



ENSELIBLE. 



"T on C\ 



And you say she's a beauty, a gem? Bring mo the gem! 
Where's that harem of mine? 



G.V. 

They sent word they do not car- to meet the person you 
expect this morning as she is not in their set. 

Pasha. 

I wish I could sa> out loud what I think. That harem will 
some iaj make me lose my temper, (bus) You're the 
worst escort a governor ever had. 

( Ent e r At t endant ) 

Att endant . 

Your hi . someone h< 1 53 he slave. We left her 

out si she is r.one. 

C- V 

Oh horror! On horror ! 

Pasha,. 

•That! Well I'll be switched to death if this isn't a 
blue Monday for me. From what asylum for feuule minded 
youths did you graduate? Leave a gem outside! You 
couldn't do any less for a sidewalk! 

G.V. 

There is the slave! 



F I N A L E. 



Gem of the Orient. 



34. 



TABASCO. 



Act 11. 



Scene 1. 



fee. 

■TABASCO." 
Act 11. Scene 1. 

(Pasha discovered seated up stage shivering 



Chorus. 
A Wonder You Are. etc. 



(enter Sad. Hassem.) 

Sid Eassem. 

The ambassador from the Sandwich Islands. 

( Ent o r Airjias s a,do r ) 

G.V. 

The ambassador from the Sandwich Islands eh. "-Hawaii. 3 
What's in this, Sandwiches? A letter from Lil. Dear Pasha 
Can't you send me over a good fat understudy to occupy the 
throne while I go to my meals? I'm afraid to get off it 
for fear Spreckels will steal it. Yours, Lil." There's a 
chance for Hasbeena if she'll only black up. 

Pasha. 

Get out everybody ! I want to be alone alone Yvith 

myself. 

G.V. 

There can't be much society around here! 

(Exeunt omnes to "A Wonder you are.") 



§6. 

Pasha. 

Now to get a, look at the slave. Someone comes! Hasbeena! 
(enter Hasbeena) Well, have you lost anything? 

Hasbeena. 

Yes, my peace of mind! 

Pasha. 

Well I'm going to give you a piece of mine. You need the 
air! You're not looking well! 

Hasbeena. 
If I had looked well I'd have found her. 

Pasha. 
Who is "her?" 

Hasbeena. 
"Y/lio is her 8 is ungrammatical. 

Pasha. 



r 



Wha is her" is business. I wish to be alone. Do you 
understand me? Alone ! 

Hasbeena. 

Oh, I grasp your meaning. I cm no longer attractive to 
you, but be?;are Bey, beware a. scorned woman's revenge. 

Pasha.. 

Oh cut it! Here, go drown your sorrows in ice cream soda, 

Hasbeena. 

I go, but soda water cannot cure anaching heart and my 
hatred rises superior to vanilla cream. 

(Exit Hasbeena.) 



(. , 






57. 
Pasha. 

(slaps hand slave appears*) Bring forth the slave. 

By jovs, that little "bust" with Hasbeena has warmed me 
up for the first time to-day. Nov/ to take a look at the 
slave. Fair, one, tremble not. By the way what is your 
name? 

Fatima. 

I an called Fatima. 

Pasha. 

A very pretty name and a very pretty girl. 'That's the 
matter, do you feel a draught or are you expecting sane- 
body? 

Fatima. 

Oh your highness, I'm so lonely. Let me see Marco and 
Lola my brother and sister. 

Pasha. 

Why certainly. Send the prisoners I.larco and Lola here. I 
didn't know they were your brother and sister. How long 
have they been your brother and sister? That look has 
given me a relapse. Here comes my 69th chill. I bet I'll 
do 100 chills to-day! 

Liar co. 
( ent e r i ng ) Fat ima ! 

Fatima. 
Brother ! 

Marco. 
Bro (she stops his mouth) 

Pasha. 

Brrh! I'm gradually becoming icified! My spine feels 
like a skating pond. I guess I'll go down stairs and takp 
a quiet nap in the oven. (Exit Pasha) 



5?Q 

oo, 

Marco, 
But why am I brother? 

Fatima. 

It was only a deception in order to have the Bey let me 

see you again. But why not brother Marco? 

Marco, 
Because I want to be nearer and dearer. 

r 1 at JLm . 

Oh! 



Duet. 

. arco. 

Now we must prepare for flight. 

Fatima, 

We are watched at every point. Be careful Marco, I fear 
the Bey and these dreadful laws, 

Marco, 

Curse on all laws but those which love has made, 

(Enter Dennis and Lola.) 

Dennis. 

You see it's this way. I'd do all I could for you but I'm 
not solid with the Bey this morning. I might intercede 
but I'd not succeed. The Bey is suffering from chills 
and "f avers 8 but divil a., favor could. tie do me. lie says to 
me, says he, "bring me hotter victuals." "I'll not," 
says I. "Why not, " says he. PI have no more," says 1. 
"Get more," says he, "or hang." And I'll be hanged if I 
can and I'll be hanged if I can't and there you are. 



59. 

Lola. 
Well let us not hang around here. 

Fatima. 
Where can we go? 

Marco. 

I would that we could ro to Spain the land of the olive 
and the 3 of love. 

Dennis. 
We might escape to America . 

Dennis. 

Sure that's the first place they'd look for an Irishman. 
That's a part of Ireland! 



Quartette. 



Marco. 

I wish I could sec a way out of here? 

Dennis. 

There's the way out! But every Avenue of Escape is 
gu ar de d , e v en Av enu e . 

Fatima. 

Suppose we should meet someone? 

Dennis. 
I'll Rive them a taste of this choroform. 



40. 

Lola. 

How can we escape? 

Dennis. 

That's it, how? Now I wonder if there's a livery stable 
in town where we could hire a nice large four horse balloon 

Lola. 

Isn't a balloon going it rather high? Couldn't we dis- 
guise ourselves as something? 

Dennis. 

It's better to disguise ourselves as nothing, we'd be 
less apt to be seen. 



Lo 



1 r> 



At any rate let's defer our escape until after dark, then 
I shan't care if my hat is not on straight. 

Dennis. 

My hat won't worry me as long as my head is on straight. 
Lola promise me one thing. If the Pasha makes up his 
mind to amputate my head to-night, promise me, on promise 
me one thing. 

Lola. 

What is it? 

Dennis. 
Get me full of cheap whiskey before the execution. 

Lola. 
Why? 

Dennis. 
Then maybe I'll have a head on me in the morning. 



41. 

Fatima. 

We must escape to-night! 

Dennis, 

We will escape to-night though I have to light my w&y 
through fifty supers armed to the teeth with spears of 
deadliest wood and swords of keenest tin. 

Liar co. 
On, on to Spain! 

Dennis. 
Yes to Spain by way of Cork. 

(Enter Kasbeena. ) 

3.S. 

Ma! Ha« Discovered! Yci: shall not leave this place. 

Liar co. 
Have a care woman, we are desperate! 

You are not going to escape me this time. 

Dennis. 
It pains me to contradict a laxly but you're a liar! (bus) 

Lola. 
Don't hurt her Dennis! 

Dennis. 

Hurt her! She's over sixteen! She can act without a 
permit. Hush my babe lie still and slumber. 
Sleep baby sleep! (lights out) 

Lola. 
What's that Dennis? 



A.9, 

Dennis. 
Begorrah they've closed the town on us. 



(Crowd discovered around Hawkins and Dusty 
R. and L . ) 



C h o r u s. 



(After chorus) 

wkins. . 

Who wants the next bottle of this wonderful hair restorer 
A teaspoonful taken internally will cause your hair to 
curl until your head aches. 

Dusty. 

A few drops of this marvellous lotion will cause the hair 
to sprout like a grass plot in gentle Spring! If you are 
not afflicted with baldness apply the lotion and the. 
hair will come out just the same. 

Hawkins. 

Remember a full guarded 18 carot hunting case gold watch 
given away with ea.ch and every bottle. This is your last 
chance as to-morrow we start for America to join Coxey's 
army. 

Dusty. 

Last night a gentleman who purchased a bottle of the hair 
restorer after applying it to his face and not thinking 
what he was doing, patted his wife lovingly upon the 
cheek and to-day she is one of the best known bearded 
ladies in the business. Watches? Oh yes, on the 
other side!! (Exit L. 2. E.) 



45. 

Hawkins. 

This lotion accomplishes wonders. People who have used it 
will never use anything else, they're" dead! It is the 
only thine in the world that will remove flies fro,,, dogs. 
A gentleman who tried it on his prize St. Bernard told 
me that the fleas left and never can back. Neither did 
the dog-. V/atches? Oh yes, watches on the other side! 

Crowd. 

they re gone! Y/e've been swindled! etc. etc. 

(e^ter Marco) 

Marco. 

Letters written! Valentines addressed! No letters! 
Have you no homes, no sweethearts? 

Fat ima . 

(entering) On Marco, the Pasha's coding and he's furious! 
I shall faint with fright 1 

larco. 
Nonsense. , You're a simple flower girl! Call your wares! 

(Enter Pasha, G. V. and Hasbeena.) 

Fat ima. 
Flowers ! Sweet flowers ! 

Pasha. 

No, can't you see that things do notr look flowery to me. 
Grand Vizier you must have an in-growing brain. The idea 
of Dermittinp" those people to escape when you saw them 
leave. V/hat have you done towards getting them back? 

G.V. 

I sent out all the detectives. 



44. 

Pasha. 
What did you do that for? I want to find them! 

Hasbeena. 
This is no time for jangling. We must act, act, act! 

G.V. 

It is not fashionable to act nowadays. You must cultivate 
suppressed emotion. 

Pasha. 

Jan, I'll look in this direction, (bus) I've a good one 
on the Grand Vizier any way. I'm going to send him a comffi 
comic valentine. It's a daisy! Bran new idea, right up 
to date. Two donkies and underneath in big type "when 
shall we meet again. - It's great just out! (to Marco) 
Just address and send this to bh Grand Vizier. Oh he'll 
simpl] rep dead when he opens it. 

(Exit R. I. Z.) 

Hasbeena. 

3o patient a little while longer. 

G.V. 

Why don't you let Fatima no and net rid of her. 

Ha q 
No, I want to crush her! 

G. V. 

Then you don't want me. You want a pile driver! Hazzie 
you are a woman, not a thoughtless giddy girl, and you'll 
not be offended when I say that conspiracy is not in your 
line. Your specialty is more in the pink tea, and church 
social way. I'm through conspiring with you. I'm going 
to do something on my awn c^ccount. I'm going to send 
the Bey a valentine! 

Has. 
A comic one I 



»v 



45. 

G.V. 

It's an infernal machine! I want somebody to address it. 
I haven't the spunk to do it myself. 

- arco. 

(sings) Letters, written, written neatly ! 

G.V. 

How opera tune! Now you will see wheat I can do alone. 
Alone! I wish I had somebody with me! 

has. 

Fat ima ! 

G.V. 

I want this addressed and sent to the ' see here 

no, not the "sea here" but the Bey there! Understand? 

Marco. 

Yes, you want this sent to the Bey. 

G.V. 

That's it! There is a pound of dynamite in that infernal 
machine and when they Bey opens it, well, it will break 
him all up. What do you thirl; of me now for a villain. 

(Exit L. 2. E.) 

Fat ima. 

Oh Marco, we are certainly discovered. I detected that 
old woman's revengeful look when she sc.w me. 

Liar co. 

Have no fear! Do you know which of these is which? One 
is for the Bey and one for the Grand Vizier, but they are 
so much alike I can't tell one from the other! 



. 



46. 

if S/OlIllcL. 

It can't make much difference. There's a crowd coining and 
I hate crowds. I imagine everyone is watching us. 

Marco. 

Do you spell "Vizier" with an s or z? 

Fatima. 

Oh I don't knowi I know I'm silly dear but let's go 
son swhere else. 

arco. 

We must stay here where Dennis toll us to wait. 

Fatima. 

Here come tnose temperance exnorters. Let us retire. 
Someone in the crowd will be sure to recognize us. 

Marco. 

There, I think those are right! Come along Miss Newvous! 

(Exit Marco and Fatima R. I. E. 
• Enter Crowd and Lola and Dennis) 

Dennis. 



Cj 



My dear Tangerines: — Beware of rum. If you hear of 

neighbor who has rum in his house be there ' beware! 

It kills more people than the cable cars. Statistics show 
that people who drink liquor always die sooner or later. 
Oh my friends it is a terrible thing to see a strong 
hearty man go on undermining his health with liquor for 
eighty or ninety years. Then again it is a sad sight to 
see a drunkard who has all his life been preparing for a 
warm hereafter, leave the world with skates on. A man 
who drinks is never right. lie's nearly always left! 
There's no excuse for intoxication. Why even in a glass of 
beer danger lurks. I'd take an 80 to I chance in a "lurk" 
now. We -will now sing that beautiful hymn ,l Greet the old 
man with a smile" omitting the 14th 16th and 92d stanzas. 



47. 



c 



bong. 
G r o e t the Old M an 1 t h a S m i 1 e. 

Dermis. 
Ophelia will now pass around the hat. 

Marco, 
y it's Dennis ! 

Lola. 
" fl lat ' s your name? 

Fat lira.. 
Why it's Lola. 

Marco. 
Think of you using the liquor question as a cloak! 

Dennis. 

Faith we're doing well! Little golden hair over there 
took in a dollar eighty six since breakfast. Oh temperan- 
ce pays first rate. (taking bottle and glass out of 
organ) Have a drink? What do you think of it? Have some 
ice in it? (takes ice out of organ) If we can only 
dodge the Pasha. I've got a scheme! I'll present this 
all day ana run the organ for a "speak easy" after 11. 

Lola. 

Dennis here cone a couple of your converts. 

(voices off) 

Dennis. 

By heavens, they're my Tabasco men. Now I'll get nil the 
hot stuff I want for the Pasha. Hurrah we're saved! 
We're saved! (Enter Hawkins and Dusty) 



. J' 



48. 

(Dennis drops organ) 

Hawkins a usty„ 

(singing) Down r here we roa;: together 

Where the soft winds blow — 



DC— ■>-> -I r-i 

Close your faces and listen to me. Lave you am sauce 
or sinse? 

Dusty. 

Not a cent ! 

Dennis. 

I want all the extract of lightning you have. I'll buy 
the whole stock, (giving purse) 

Dusty. 

No use! Soil out! Only one bottle left! 

Dennis. 
Give it to me quick ! 

Hawkins. 
Certainly, certainly! Have a small bottle with us. 

Dusty. 
Introduce us to the ladies! 

Dermis. 

Mind what I tell you now. Here take this! (giving" money) 
Bring back all the Tabasco you can find and bring it to 
the palace to-night before 11 and loads of riches shall be 

yours, twice the load you have now. Remember Tabasco 

palace before 11 to-night! 



49. 

Hawkins and Dusty. 

Palace Tabasco to-night will be there! 

(Exit Hawkins and Dusty. 

(Enter Hasbeena and guards) 

Has. 

Arrest them! 

( vuards seize all. The guards prevent 
Dennis following) 

Dennis. 

Oh murder, they're at it again! 

Lola. 

Dennis ! 

Dennis. 

Don't walk darlmt, lie down and maize them carry you! 
Make them call the "hoodlum" wagon and take you awav like 
a- lady! 



(dark change to scene 11) 



50. 



"TABASCO. 



Act 11. 



Scene 11. 



51. 



TABASCO. 



Act 11. 



Scene li. 



The Palace. 



Ballet. 



(After Ballet enter G. V.) 

1st. Girl. 
Ke said I was a fright in my bran new Redf era gown. 

2d girl. 

Ke swore horribly just because I asked for money! 

3d girl. 
He was very rude to Ma when she came to dine to-day. 

4th girl. 
I wish you could have heard what he said about m} bills. 

All. 
And I think he's just as mean as he can be! 



G.V. 
What are you up to girls? 

1st. girl. 
Our usual occupation, blowing up the Pasha. 

G.V. 

Blc 1 him up? Why don't you wait until his valentine 

comes. 

1st. girl. 

ill that - ..i.- - better? 

G.V. 

It will make him an angel* Jut if ho should curvive — 

All. 

What ! 

G. V. 

I say, if no should survive a fit of fsoocl nature you will 
still lack a method. I'll give you a tip how to manage 
a man! Now this is strictly entre nous! I wouldn't have 
mother know I told you for &53,000 



Song — G r a n d V i z e r 



Jrasna. 
(off) Go easy there! Do you want to shako ma to death. 

G V. 
The Pasha comes! Girls remoter my advice and !, do& him 



55. 

(Enter Pasha in chair carried by two men 
a la sedan chair) (Men handle it awkwardly) 

Pasha. 

Go easy with this herdic. Whoa there! Steady! Whoa 

boy! You two fellows can go bach in tne ranks* 

G.V. 

Is your serene highness feeling any warmer? 

1 asna. 

No, I'D going to have another chill. I feel it coining, 
(cold wave flag) What are you doing out there? 

G.V. 

Skating! Tna flag's up! 

Pasha. 

Oh how different is to-day from cheerful yesterday! 
Then Tabasco warmed me, to-day the lack of it chills me. 
Just let me get at that French cook. 

G.V. 

Check off your cold wave for a minute. Your Court and 
lovingsubjects have assembled to do honor to your frost 
bitten highness ! 

v asna. 

Tell my Court and loving subjects to go away! 

(Exeunt all but G. V. and Pasha) 

G.V. 

This is monotonous! I've half a mind to go out 'luring 
my dinner hour and get a job at soma ribbon counter.. 

When he gets that valentine I wonder if he'll go through 
the roof or scatter! 

(music off and enter page) 



! t 



54. 
Pa£e„ 

His highness, the Dnp of Tabasco! 

(Flourish off enter band and attendants 

Enter Dennis) 

Dennis. 

It servo.- me right for hiring a German band to play 
Iri usic. Yon can _ 1 yaller tunes and plenty of blue 
notes and yaller and blue makes green out begorrah 
Patrick's day in the morning is toe greenfor toe loikes 
of ye. Nevei 3SS gentlei ?s of the 

giers Kiber ian Association accept eq thanks for this 
elleg; t da Oration and I must say that Dublin itself 
couldn't turn out a finer body of Turks. As you all know 
I've lately been elevated fro./ the steerage to the peer- 
age and I am here m nry royal robes of office to demand 
one release of some friends of mine mho are detained in 
the palace. Watch me 3W i . ; :,' : .l see with what respect 
the Pasha receives me. ihake them u] igain! 

Page . 

His hi hness the Bey of Tabasco! 

Dennis. 

Begorrah by the way the Pasha shivers the Patrick's Day 

parade is a frost. Once more! (band "Tara booixu") 

It takes a chestnut to wake up some people. Announce me! 

' G.V. 

Kis highness the Bey of Tabasco! 

Tell one jackass to approach! 

G.V. 
Jackass approach! 

Dennis. 

Make a note that there's a kick to you on jackass, (band 
exits) The jackass has approached! 



DO. 



(Monte Christ o gag.) 

Pa she.. 

That chill took av/ay all my strength. You gave me 
yesterday a delightful compound Tabasco. When I asked 
for more you gave m nothing but that overworked excuse 
"just out." You ..ado me for on Leliciously hot 
just &ive i terri . . = reaction. I'm freezing 
to df h. Qprt - - a asco and lets of it or off 
goes you] - ead. 

Dennis. 

Begor: if you cut off mj he a I'll ne\ : sak to you 

a in. 

l asna. 

Escape is useless! I have ordered new gates on in all 

the city ! 

Dermis. 

What I want is a gaiton outside the city. 

G.V. 

Say, I'll let you take my place in the line. I've had 
many chances like this but I lack nerve. Here take 
this give him an upper cut and run. 

Dennis. 

You want me to do it all don't you! You cut and I'll run 
and I'll start now. 

G.V. 

You're afraid! 

Dennis. 

Why don't you do it. You proposed it! 



56. 

G.V. 

You want him out of the vra: more than I do. If ho lives 
you die. This is your deal! 

Dennis. 

Well .... it i . ; eal it's your cut! 

G.V. 

No tim for jcl.es. Give him a good one! 

Dennis. 

Why lo] 't he come outside an 3t killed lido a man! 
"dint's the use of spoiling tei . .lisp curtain to kill 
a three eollar pasha. Now I have it! You get inside 
and if I can stick you I'll tr} r it on him! 

G.V. 

Go on, stick him! I'll go down and see id the valentine 

has cone! (Exit) 

Dennis. 

No I cannot kill him! He might find it out! (Exit) 

tender i*.. <^. rj-asijecixa. ) 

Hasbeena. 

I've got 'em! I've got 'em! I've got 'em! 

(Deiinis enters C. fr. R. running and look 
ing about. Sees Hasbeena and grabs her) 

Dennis. 

lion I have ye! (business of wrestling) You'll excuse no 
Pasha if I flirt with your leading lady! (trie- 
her) Where are they you divili 



T3>r> o S n 



(going up) here don't waste your tin:: in that frivolous 
way. There is only five minutes between you and eternity! 



57. 
Dennis. 

5 minutes. It's plinty! It's all I iverwantl 

(bus with Hasbeena tries shaking her) Pastil I'll 

never blame you again. I see you can't shake her! 

Has . 

Henry Hot-heddam will you stand by there and see me abused 
by this cook? 

.r as na . 

You're not the first lady that thinks she's abused by 
her cook. (separates them) There's that Tabasco? 

Dennis;. 
Give me time ! 

I will. I'll give you all the time between nov/ and when 
that clock strikes the hour. I'll be liberal, I'll give 
you until the 11th stroke! 

Dennis. 

You're very liberal but be^fcrrah I think \our clock 
is fast. 

(makes a start towards Hasbeena 

she comes back of Pasha) 

Pasha. 

Fast or slow at the eleventh stroke of that clock's bell 
I've sworn by Allah you die! 

Dennis. 

Is I'm the one to die, wouldn't it be "dacent" of Allah to 
give me my pick of clocks. Nov/ I know a clock in County 
Cork that has a croat reputation for always being right ! 
Parties come from .lies around to see what time it is by 
that clock! 



You're Irish! 



Y/ho told you? 



Co, 

Pasha. 
Dennis. 
i asna. 



Nov/ I'll not only execute you but I'll get an execution 
on your estate. 

(cross with Has closely following him. 

Dennis tries to get at her) 
I'll sue for d2mages, when I engaged Jou I took you for a 
Frenchman. 

Dennis. 

Honors is easy for I tool: you for a g 1 ian. 

Pasha. 

(takes up scimitar and sharpens it) You start for the 
better world from here. You don't mind if you arc not 
executed in the public square. 

Dennis. 

Not at all. It's just as near to Heaven from this spot 
as it is from there. 

Pasha. 
You don't mind if I anticipate the ceremony? 

Dennis. 
I don't mind if you drop dead! 

lr as ha. 

(preparing to advance on Dennis. Hasbeena 
is back of him.) 
Come, get ready! 



59. 

Has b s en?*, 
(starts to go) I think I'll leave now. 

Pasha. 

(prevents Hasbeena from going) Stay girl! No one knows 
but you and I that that man entered this room. No one 
will know but you and I how he left it. 

Dennis. 

No one but us knows I'm here. 

No one but us. 

Dennis. 

Well who's that behind you? (they turn their heads L. to 
see and Dennis grabs sword from Pasha.) (Pasha and 

Hasbeena rush to stage R, terrified — — 

Dennis C.) 
Stay girl! No one knows but ycu and him that you entered 
this room. No one knows but ycu and him how ye left it ! 

Hasbeena. 

(Hasbeena is now at Pasha's right side 
She looks out and by him to Dennis. They 
both move cautiously up stage followed by 
Dennis at his position and not lessening 

the distance between thorn — - Pasna has 

drawn dagger.) 
Young man, we were only jesting! 

Dennis. 

Oh indeed! Well I'm only joking! (forced laugh) Ha! Ha! I 
It will tickle you! 

(Business with scimitar. Hasbeena screams 
and dodges back. ) 



Lola. 

(Enters R. 4. seeing only Dennis he gesticulates for 

her to go back.) Oh Dennis dear I gave them the slip! 



- 



60. 
Dennis. 

Go back ! Go back ! 

(Pasha and Hasbeena turn and grab her) 

Pasha. 
Who are you? 

Lola. 
I'm his poor mother. 

Dennis. 
Oh murther ! 

Pasha. 
If you move a step I'll kill her. 

Lola. 
Oh Denny don't move he is scratching" me. 

Dennis. 
I've stopped breathing. 

Pasha. 

Here's a chance for diplomacy. Give up the scimitar and 
I'll give up the girl and let you both go. Upon my 
honor ! 

Denni s . 

What? 

Pasna. 

Are you hard of hearing? 

Dennis. 
No, I'm hard of believing! 



61. 

Lola. 

Stop pinching" me you horrid thing. Trust him dear. 

Dennis. 

Faith it's mighty poor security but I suppose it's the 
best he has. 

(Dennis lays down scimitar and Lola comes 
to meet him. Pasha and Hasbeena move to C. 
Dennis and Lola come down I"l. Pasha 

prepares to attack Dennis Dennis and 

Lola turn and discover the treachery.) 

Dennis. 

(at R. with Lola) Where's your honor? 

Pasha. 

(at- L. with Hasbeena and hall way up stage) 
I never had any! 

Dennis. 

You've broken your record. You've told a truth. 

Pasha. 

You don't mind if I don't kill you exactly on the eleventh 
stroke. 

Denni s . 
No. It's the first stroke that I mind, (chimes) 

Pasha. 
There's your knell. 

Lola. 
Denny, who's Nell? 

Dennis. 

Don't mind the blackguard. I have no acquaintance with 
any lady by that name. 



One! 



One! 



Two ! 



Two ! 



Three ! 



Three ! 



Four ! 



Four. 



Five. 



Five. 



(bell strikes one.) 
Pasha. 

Dennis. 

(bell strikes two) 
Pasha. 

Dennis. 

(bell strikes three) 
Pasiia. 

Dennis. 

(bell strikes four) 
ir asna. 

Dennis, 
(bell strikes five.) 



i as na . 



Dermis. 



81 

(Crash Pasha goes and opens door of 

clock showing- pendulum still and works 
hanging down.) 

l as ha. 

inspring broken! Wires down! Off the trolley! 

Dennis. 

Cur few will not ring to-night! 

Pasha. 

My, this is awkward! 

(Enter £>aidee Hassem C. hands card) 

Dennis. 

Not as awkward as if it had struck eleven. 

Pasha. 

(Saidee Hassem pushes salver in front of 
his face) 
Go away! Don't you see I'm busy! 

S. Hassem. 

Gentlemen say they must see you before eleven! 

Jrasna. 

(takes up card) Who are they? (shows card) Big and little 
casino. Don't kbow them! 

(throws card back on salver) 

Dennis. 

(looking off) I do! They bring Tajasco ! 

(Joy on part of Pasha shakes hands 

with Dennis. ) 

G.V. 

(looking at Pasha) lie seems to be all there. But he's got 
to go. 



64. 
(Exit Grand Vizier.) 



Tabasco arch. 



(Enter chorus Enter G. V. Hawkins 

and Dusty and Taba,sco escorted by four 
soldiers. When Tabasco is brought on 
and during rendition of march, Pasha drinks 
and divests himself of a coat after each 
draught. Giving coats to G. V.) 

Pasha. 

Anything, everything is yours! I swear by Allah! 
What will you take? 

Denni s . 

Fatima, Marco, and Lola and a little whiskey and water. 

Pasha. 

You ask me much but I'll keep my oath though it makes me 
writhe. 

Dennis. 

Don't mind me! Go off and have a writhe, (to G. V.) 
Elongate the prisoners ! 

G.V. 

I don't understand you! 

■ Dennis. 

Let them out ! 



* 



65. 

G.V. 

(with Pasha's coats on his am) I'm glad he threw off 
his ballast. He'll rise quicker. 

(Exit G. V.) 

J. LCvtJ) *J O \J j. It - , 

Oh sire be ruled again by reason. Beauty is fleeting 
intellect is permanent. I am always here! May I hope to 
beagain your "popsy-wopsy. ■ 

(Enter Marco and Fatima.) 

Pasha, 
Perhapsy-wapsy! (Marco and Fatima kneel.) You're free! 

Derails. 
Well good-bye old man! 

Pasha- . 
Mast you cut your visit short? 

Dennis. 
Yis, I'd rather do the cutting than have you do it. 

Pasha,. 
(slapping him on back) Ah, you're bright! 

Denni s . 

(fortissimo on a return slap) You ought to see my 
brother. He's a brass polisher! 

Pasha. 

( p la c i i}g hands o n Fat ima ' s he ad and k i s s ing 

her brow, Hasbeena objects.) 
Fatima I did think once that you would be my valentine. 



66. 

(Slave comes down with valentine. 

G. V. sees its arrival and is correspond 

ingly interested.) 

Attendant. 

(pushing valentine between Pasha and 
Fatima. ) 

Here's your valentine your highness! 

1 as in . . 

(to Dennis) Excuse mo! 

(Begins to open valentine.) 

G.V. 

I'll go down and get the coroner and leave an order on the 
undertaker' 3 slate. (Exit) 

Has. 

Great Heaven! it's the Viziers. 

(on her knees and hands over ears) 
Oh do not open it, I beseech you to listen to me I 

Dennis. 
Give him mere privileges Hassie. It may be a mash-! 

HAs. 
That's what I'm afraid it is. 

Hello what's this? My valentine to the Grand Vizier. 
Well, what does this mean? 

Has. 

(rises) I don't know but I do know that the Grand Vizier 
intended to send you dynamite. 



67. 
Marco « 

I can explain. I Was the letter-writer that addressed 

both the valentines. The boxes were alike. I mast have 
made a mistake. 

Dennis. 



■■ 



Tot at a >oy, you made no mistake. The Grand Vizier 
made - - mistake. 

. . . 

y one heard if the Grand Vizier got his valentine? 

(Explosio ) 

Dennis . 

I have , he' s got it ! 

(Dennis and Pasha snake hands. General 
leave-taking lis b^ it online 
requests silence and steps down for 
epilogue.) 

Epilogue — D e n n 1 s. 



Ladies for you, did Dick Sheridan say, 
(He'd always coax a moral fro.;: his play.) 
"One moral's plain", H said he, "witnout ado 
Man's social hapoiness all rests on you. 
Through all the drama, Whether damn'd or not 
Love gills the scene and T/omen guide the plot. 
From every rank obedience is your due 
D'ye doubt? Ah no, I know you're women true. 
And I would kiss ye all if ye were here. 
(Lola) Dennis ! (Dennis) Poet's license, nothing more 

my dear ! 
Don't rise ladies, ye'd better stay below, 
And let mo, here, in your sweet smiles to bask-- oh 
To -- bask- -oh! 



I N A L 



J «u£ l£ ,J U^;. 



a. A •* <; 

</} Or m y 
AcT X /\ tvn Jo < r<? i "Uf 5 o 



T £*4j) or &r y lq,(o-e \ 



u 



•TABASCO.* 



1 I H G C II R U S 4 



Rill atoms. 



Dawning ! The - v tg! 
The Si stw&rd fall 

i Qood morning I 
Good laorni nil! 

gh oh! Heigh Oh! 
ft is all ! 

:hc boats c in fr "cry alio re 

oar, 
Ahoy ! Ahoy ! 
Cc ilor boy ' 

Tho boats are . ao re 

luscious stor** 
COi.ie buy ! Co ! 

the ;>uv t . . ! 
:y ! 






Part Chorus. 



■•.mscatel ! 
Atemd asphodel! 

Ora 1 apricot! 

and bergTsnotl 



i 



BBS 



F\:ll Chorus* 



Davrnin: ;1 inr;! 

The shadows v^StrW&srd fall! 

I to r jiinfj ! Co o d no rning ! 
Good morning hborsall! 



Solo No. l m 



:iy rr; spices! 
Lo-7 the price in! 

Cinnamon from Zanzibar! 
Clove ahd aloe ! 

Jtfyrrh ahd maXtO ! 

Pott- 11 in d jar, 



Solo No* 3, 



Hoar the folio-;, 
Punchinello ! 
Ladies buy c lone ! 

Pure vanilla! 
Can car:'. ( 
re's -olncnto from fkvlon! 



Alte rnating lines either an soli or chorus, 

Cucumbers and fresh* toraater! 8 
idpson salts and. cream o* tarter! 

E&Tly unions from Bcraidr. ! 
Terrapin to tempi a Tudor! 
Try tag -arbary bananas! 
Buy pfy Bjzaii.yxnQ bandanas! 
Coffee! Coffee! All male berries! 
Here's your ripe Arabian cherries! 



*-' 



Rill Chorus. O 



Dawninr;! The D&TOil&I 
The ' • westward fall* 

>rningf Good corning! 

Good , ;; neighbors all! 
3ol li&rco. 

Kerchiefs with a broidered hen! 
Silken soaffs and lace: | 

Ladi©S cone and 1c ', the ! 

Hither turn yoiflf faces! 

Hero are ■ . and of rich device 

Fro;: the gods of India Ion ted f 
I f ve a ,ey to wear, 

1 a pearl for ■ iden suite « 

Rill Chorus* 



trnnit^ ! The "... ! 

The shadows westward fall I 

ornir/* (3oc : ingl 

Good ElOTn b :;;Ors all! 



Solo — ' — Marco. 



all The lovc_ tiie fragrant weed, 
Lata! : ia ! i *&t a T ;i& ! 
*Twas Hacclius self who sowed the seed, 
Ilab. lor is! 

os and Lest 

Mocha! Java! Jelly yunva! 
Angostura! Aqua ours! 
Toy ' tra; fine! 

1 Chorus- . 



! 

lorter grtttM 
Ilornina i .:>.. :! 

is all agi«! 
The sky! y! 

The -olden nun is hi\h! 

. s en out to every shore. 
-el! ins- sail and oar, 

ii loy ! AJ icy ! 
Good-bye r%* sailor hoy! 



" ' ASC (V 



LL 



AOT 1. 






• 



■ '» 
I V -- ' 

r. 



Ictuals I Lik< hot — 

- 

; 1 « 



7 












' 



• 



°n 



■ - 

_ i . 

Jv 

T 






, 



I IT i: - '. ' calls, 

j ay - 
$r str&T? hat I tfjL ' >ar till 1 . 3W is in the air, 

Fo - . ■ . 



f 



> 









. 






An 
I have even hear' ' ' ' i*s Prayer, * 

:ecr, 
Bat J ■ ■ y. 

I '■ • b , 
! ■■ , 

lokj fin I'll . k / - oi tli 

f i ine, 












> i 






• 









. 



ft > 



u 



V~7c a can 1 11 it by . looks, 

5 . ht, 

I tat o , 

X .lo : , 

The} It* o - , 



aboi •i&ne* 



. 



. 



I've * ' ■ ■ : 3enr< 

■ 









. 



j 



? 



r » ' 






> 



■ T A 3 A S C 0." 



ACT 1. 



SCENE 1. 



J IADING OF ! -AIL*" 



Chon . 



Across Lie ; :.rt c the mail, 

ossip gaily I&d&n, 
From ov :. "Icttcrr :'.'., 

To ron raw idon. 
The 11 ! ;: il ! IS 
Deliver! Deliver! Deliver! 
Lth kiss - 7, 
The post ' to- y f 
And the . river! 



Bey. 



tre ci 7 e) Be quiet £11 i seraglio, Your sultrjn»s 

seel! Give you? ford " show! Hjj majesty srritOS :— ■ 



Chorus, 



Good gracious ! 

*lio»d think it! 

Well! Well! Weill 

ih. ! 

»Tis dreadful ! 
IIo-t lovely t 
Hero silly! 
:yee! 



7 

Bey. 



(rccitntiv 5 "tell I defer unto you B plnoe axix feoes* 

Aux V. .-.or. :.h damn! That's only French Tor ladies! 

I*d like to use "heir slfiJlg T vord for nadon! 



lie. . _n. 



i-.iy letter is stunnl ' 
Chorur:. 



! 



Oh r.^otner . j 



To stay ! 



She'll be -vita \n- a vcar, 
Th . Lishtftil ' -'! 



. 



Oil -von' g Cor t . i 

0. V. 

etheart tu r&ttgnl 
Chorus, 

Il0 T 'r 3--.7CC t! 

a. v. 



i ] mt n 1 1 1 : . nit t e n • 

Chorus. ( sfgjcfiaticall? ) 

Discreet! 



/ 



G. V. 

If Thursday is nine, 
She'll expect t nine. 

Chorus. ' 

On the corner of th street, 

Bey* 

No~ listen jay letter! 

Chorv . 



We irill! 



1 thirJ you had better, 

Chorus « 

3c still! 

Bey, (reads) 

iear Subj py, 

I shs " to-day — — 

Chora:;. 

Oh skj ! ' we&ry ill, 

lie — Ke — Uo-' for >rcc! 

3c; ae • sy ic j :oteenth to be! 

Clionis. 



isy ! You arc; cr&gsv ! 
We're the f l of the house!? 
' Tii ' ; proper! We r! 

runx ■;■■ ! 

Bey of lankier ■ rill ha r! 



/ 



rid your daisies iron our hone! 
y of Tardier m will hr,n<-- her! 
If you lot the Imssy ec ! 



A 



• T A n c 0, 



ACT 1. 



cirrfcn 



j i -t i 



so?jg of v 



Chorv , 



. 



ChOT\ B 



Win-taxi! Tin- tan! Patty pan - pan - pan! 

Let i our fin Lotr! 

Por a coo) - t cat and M /en sends mo&t 

low. 

Ho! ::o! The cot -.-■- \ (en1 



Chorus, Tin- ! ':, ■-■.■ i ! >an * pan - pan ! 
(keen;; up until chef begins to sinr. ) 



Che :■ . . . 
Chef. 
torus. 



Chef. 

Chen 



Chorus. 
Ch orus. 



Oh I an a oh " 51 . ; . , 

With ' r ■ o f - salaree, 

• -y -Tit - tree, 

th th ! ' Ly tr, g» 

uite beyond compare, 
flow Menu is French Fq of Care, 

I call t: .. / ■vin v. to. * 

Oh that is ei to r 11! 

The s< , . Lend. 4 ", ct, 

Is : ' - ' ■ ;\ [ h to . ., - , 

Is bill each dish i , _ Lc -.; ■-, 

Oh he 1 J l» 



Tin- tar;* Tin ! * pan - pan! 

(keeps up until chcl . . to sing* ? 



Chef. 



Chorus 



• 



m 



CilOrU; . 



2. 



I a ,i;:t pose throi whole "dinor' 1 

Fro -;;lrlr« to I B ponsse-Cfae. 8 

: I *pOlliot.* 

Oh hi : is 

I to: 3 nar loots 8 

1 I ot? # 



// 






nHoHI57 J, " K<to-w«.. 

|aa^ And* 
■ Ca0 " il - '11 loo 



. 



' - ' - - 



Gwf - r 

fife- ' , ; \ •}' , . 

Choru s. 

C hoi. • 



Chorus. f i 

a 




! 



i 

Chof. 
Oioru^ G.: 

Chef. - . ' ' icrls." 

Ononis. u j , . 



■ T A B A SCO," 



ACT 1. SC^l:: 1, 



/cT VI N A L E. 



Chbtu . 



Gaa of t! Fair ?i:. aoooI 

Stay o Xi the Bey I 

Ilouri ! 

\ oS ;'• c teas J 

Unveil b Lsnoes —while love advances! 

"7c wait Cor thee! 

.:.Q\ 

! Bil! 



P-- 



Gein of the Orient! )f the travel 

Belle of tli i is t:vy slave! 

Hour; fail the$! 
Thy £&g xts g wv >alir&j 

(ranovos veil) . 
v r it.i ardent feci ins -a kiss (cadenza) I*n stealing , 
(gives kiss) 



By the beard ol the -roehct, amen! 

Chorus* 
;3y irephet, a nan! 

Pasha. 



/ J 

Y£io plottc to villainous plan? 



If you tell ' c % 

I #tll raise yon to Crnc, 

Chorus. (Irairhinfr —business by Pasha) 

3y the ' ' , ■ 



, 'izior, 

f&ize hi . -■- - . ijyna* 

notion,. 
Hang: r, c: . , -other, 

.,:r. (bus) 
the - . ; rf 



• . 



Chor 

J fees r- Jf-r , r>J» u. i«tj> ... . ^-. t 

Pasna. 

. 4 I ; it his ■ • i 

■, ■ low! 



/¥ 



Chorus » (business by Paslia) 

the bl- fen, a blow I 

Pa— ! 



Sole F&ti „ 



Cos , 

Oh kf! yl 

Is . . . . love ag&i . 






in 1 - 1 Lois 



I aroi a , ... 

o is f v n - ia > 3 



I BR] 

is I 

v/iio will giv* , 

r- f * 

2u fc a eot ; 4i . . bar 

heft 






i 

Chon . 



She i. y a heathen Pasha , 
:> -ill r 'l' )D::ihi , 

-. a cot and romantic young tar 



• t . s n o,« 



ACT 1. SCENE 11. 



9CB-JG MB CSOTJS Hasbeena and Ilarexn, 



I'll * plan * plan I 

ou q; - man! 

Be ,/.- 

Giv • ' U % 

ontxc ! 



, 



! 



! 

ice! 



. 



/J 



*IX s ■ - fc price* 

You s •'-• 



, 






Tlic "lord o " ' -- ■ . ] 

I* : '•: c i fraafc. 

You'll sec hot/ easily ;■ i .an 

5 n. 



o 



/ibeona. 



But son* 3 is youny woman, I fear — ' —fear. 

You roust fall back on beer -boor —beer! 
presents and cash ax lag 

it let I ,cu yo .- . a nice jag, 
you lie Lt! 






" i'lrt, 

liar em, 

! 



He* II b te, 

And you so iu 






The "lord o ; • ; 

If yo- o ly - . . freak, 

You* 11 1 ■- ■: &ily you can 

k you' .j ! 






h 



"• 



Ma,, 



ote —note —note! 

How you — vot< — ^ ! c\ 

lilel 

as rival ilot will g$t* 












yet, 






i as ire ;:; , 
Yo\: J u. V U :cr oai, 

: '• w ., 3 .! 



< 



A S C 0. • 



ACT I* SC Ul. 



*FVsmcois Lament. ■ 



Oh T: Ln, , 

' it' ! v- - 

v. r Ochonef an* c - \ 



m . 



set 



h ' 'ore ,y, 

' 
J 



• 



>' Killarncy 

. c> the Leo. 

ait 



! 

• Green Isle! 

Sw " ' . , in Uet 01 1 ' Lo 

» , . .. » 



C 0. ■ 



ACT 1. SC 111. 



DUET F*rancois • 1 Lola 



■ • 



hC ] . 



Yoi 



■ - . 



I? 






1*1 I , 






- 



T « 1 ... 



I tC • ! 



• 



V,m 









love tall, 

; ; ; e'er 11. 



, ' 1 • 

' ' II. 



. 



1 






! 









)h t!i ! 






' ' ' ; . 
To f 7--' nor. 



. 



T * 1 ' 



T» 



k o ' you asli " .c, 






Franco I . 



To dt* • y -c, 

jjO X.£l m 



love i. . :. • 






. 



• 



. 



i 



. 



■ ! 

Together. 

I t O'er, 



5./ 



■ T A .3 A S C 0. 



2-3^ 



FT IAJ . 



ACT 1. 



. 



i 

. xortir I : 

• ! 

! ! 

: ■ ! 



> 



ion. 



, 



• -. 



. 1 ' 






Co 



. 



. 



. 



— i — um — Lo! 



\ 



/-•> •? 



. 



7 



i3 right* 

, "It is 01 it of flight, 8 
o. v. 

horribl ' that ni 

- - . 



! ! 

a [50, 

11 ia 



! ! 

! 
coc' 11 so? 






. 



Chorum. 

• ■■■ . — coc ! 

! 



iOla* 






. 



, '-• *v ';ot„ B 



it vf ev*s w©i >ot. 



V- 






2-<£ 



Lol. . 



I . ! 

I 

low, 
Clior 



c . 



. 



" ;0 > 

he ! 

Or • 

1 



• 



(rccitr.tiv 



. 




i 


> 


vc 


, 


i; . 


J 


■' 


?* 


' " "■. . , 




Orel 


i .. . i ■ , : 





: 


■ . . "-r 


. 









■£y<ti\.£ A«.d •&* H^L 

trots*- i^S4 fi^C-t t ^ ^fe 



TABASCO. 



1. 



71 







A beauty, my boy, you are, you are 

By the beard of the prophet 'tis so 
Like a palm tree you tower in the pride of your power 

The very biggest thing in all the show. 
You swear by the- Kaaba and quote the Koran 

And never aife drunk when you're dry - dry - dry. 
We can gamble your marital morals upon 

And you think you're remarkably fly, 
'A Tom Reed you are —A Gladstone —A Czar! 

A sovereign that's ?&ted at Dar - par - par. 
Oh Allah! Abdallah! 



Tally ho! Tally hi! 
And that's the kind of 

2. 






Tally hah! 
monarch you are! 






ifti. ofa- 



boy , 



you are ! 
'tis so. 



The cock of the coop, my 

By the Mare of Mahomet, 
You are chock full of guile but you work up a smile 

That is much like a violet ablow. 
You polka by proxy, in person you wed, 

Nor need the consent of madam - dam - dam. 
But of Mothers-in-law you have forty 'tis said, 
X And 'tis that makes you so much like a lamb 

!a 



by thunder, you are, 
at the- bar - bar - bar ! 



bnder' you are 

A d leader forever 

Oh Allah! Abdallah! 
Tally ho! Tally hi! Tally hah! 
And that's the^bloomin' Pasha you are. 



*W 









A 






(aT* 






A ruler you are you are a star ! 

The greatest prince we know of by far 
Tom Reed — A Gladstone — Napol'on — A Czar! 

The legal 'lectric-light of ev'ry bar, 
There's nothing in Tangier With you to compare 

And nothing like you was &£ the g d BSfrt Chicago Fair: **{ 
You'd- taken diplomas if you nad but gone there 

For you are such a dizzy affair. 
A Pasha you are 

So partic-ular 
A monarch that's always up to par —par — par. 
We'll praise you, 

And raise you, 
Pretty high, pretty soon, pretty far, 

And that's the sort of a monarch you are! 



A ^ 






■ T A B A G C 0. * 



ACT 11 



SCENE 1, 






I 

lie ■ d ! Follow mo ! 

• ( 

I :]! 



o 



her ! 



i:i ^ , 



.? 



■ 



! 






> ror; o m 



r .- i s - 



, 



, 



Hush! \ I 

! ! 

Ore j cr -•■ - 










TABASCO. 



ACT 11, SCENE 1, 



Duet Marco and Fatima. 



1. 



Fatima. 



My heart again to hope begins, 
Oh Marco, you and love are twins. 

Marco. 



Fatima be a bit more coy, 
Or we a chaperon employ. 

Fatima. 



A chaperon I soon would shake , 
So Marco, leave my love or take? 

Marco. 



I'll give you all my own instead, 
And we'll be happy till we wed. 

Together. 



Each to the other now we vow, 
Fat ima.. 
I to thee. 






2. 



Fatima. 



What joy to be no more alone! 
Oh mark me,Marco,for your own. 

Marco . 



Upon your lips I make the mark, 
I'll add a dozen after dark.. 

Fatima. 



Will you forevermore be true 
Or will you do as others do? 

Marco . 



However far my feet may stray, 

My heart shall ever faithful stay. 

Together. 



015 the sweetness of the score — 
Fatima. 



When with love, 
Marco . 
The notes run o'er! 
Tog-ether. 



Our hearts are ovens where we bake, 
The lover's dough to wedding cake. 

S. 



Fatima. 



Will you forevermore be true, 
Or will you do as others do? 



Marco. 




• T A B A S C 0. ■ 



aot 11, 



(-♦IT Tl »vp •» 



,] CO; 



LOtf^ OP HKE w 



Ay ! ! 

. dc; 

. i.l. ; 

V/i t. 

it in . net, 

. tte, 
03 . ! 



! 



VyJ ll 



! 



j.rt 



ChOTti; .. (v;:. ... 



! ! 

' - - . ■ c 






Tr 



. 



Don 



D TA3ASC0," 

ACT 11. SCENE 1. 

— — — — — — — -^— — — — — — — — " 

LOVES OF THE WORLD. 



Marco. 



In Bare el one lived \ laid, 

Ay Senorita! 
Was wooed by a young Toledo blade; 

Mi Senorita! 
With mandolin and Castanet, 
At night in the olive shade they met 
And each of them £ I a cigarette, 

Oh Senorita! 

But her old duenna lingered near 

Aii mal duenm ! / 

As a chaperon she '^^a^te^^^s^ggp. /;.-... c h*$ pw~ 

Buen duenna! 
And she fell \ the \ ; cf To] sdo's blade 

111 he left the girl in the olive shadle 
And for ought I know she rQT still r maid: 
Una Duenna! 

Chorus. (Una) (with lance) 



Ho la! Ilola! Love has a castle in Spain 
But there's never a cot where he enter- not 

In Spain. 
ho la! hoi a! Castanets sound amain, 

1 - ; " J h ns arc won by the love of the Dt 
Ir Sixain, 



Francois. Ah now thin he aisy, 
For love is ; la: sy 
That blossoms ir Ireland ( the shamrocks between) 

Sure Patsy's a dandy, 
An' none are more handy 
At sportin' and courtin' iroon the ould preen 

There colleens entrancin' 
ate to th U ecin' 



L . 



:>c &ij , 



>r love is a daisy, 
That blosstu ,j ettnmo) 

mrti: ■ ' > > oon. 

re co ] ' 

1 
Id fi rt t 






n nv^ .. 



'llic ti- 



xt . 






a 



Oh i . ■». 






, 



■ 



' ; 



' ; fc c : , May mo ra 



Lol 



I ■ i ti 

Her r 
I or: 



■ -•■ -I, 



«- >. 






li \ % 









love 



>r: ' i; io ' ce< 






\7id - ~ -- g i linty for takin* - part 
>i ij_ s g^op^j j - w . itin' 

' br: f 3 1 -tin' 

Ere Larry' has Molli tied tigr. to his heart. 



Chorus ' 3 Dance 



Oh Cupid'a a paddy, 
St. Pat : his daddy, 

] ■'.- niver i lover like grin's gossoon 
. colic:.' lave frees 
To wid ; graces 

lilin' ; beguilin' ; heneath the Way morn, 



%d 






CL 



.■" . ■:•':_ his love at the stud it's ball 
/Ti ne Vthat ni^ht/ was Jeanr tte, 

he Ler dark and tall 

lone risette. 

; I her he kissed her lips 

. vowed she ttou 1 ! e tn 

Landed he: Lnd &e get the slip, 

W ppayter etffciefcs two., 

Choru id Dance. 



lov« is light in la belle Peris 

It co: e id jc - s with i gl? nc : , 

1 - . vei ay serve beyond th 

'Tie tin it ' :lo in Fn 



. 




K 



o ! » 



. 






iT 









- t 









k B A S C 0. 



ACT 11. ^ ^ SCENE 11, 



" The L ett er -Wr it er . » 



v(i^ ( 



Liar co 



(recitative) 



Letters written! written satly! 
Letters worded! Woi led sw bly! 

Oh c '.try of me! 

Oh come try of i ! 
Letters written most comDletelv! 






(Aria.) 



Ho, Mariner, ho! in port lelayi: gl 

The wj , is li< >°is low, 

Co. TiteTyour love whil V1#* shiptf m> staying, 

will turn and th bi z : ul^ bio- 

I'll tell th Lrl h r tar's devotion. 

How he le his love once again to sight 

the lass you left shall not have a notion 
Of tJ one you met on the iuay last night. 

Chorus. 



• _ 7" — FT 



ho, mariner, ho! theteea defting, . 
"--- " "lions roll arid tjiej breezes rqarl ^ 

You l^|"brag of yo\ir befit but {there's no denving 
You are {fonder far of afgirl ashore. 



S C 0." 



11. 



SCENE 11. 



1 



I tor co . ( re c i tat ivc ) 

! ! 

! ! 



! 



! 



! 



(At 






■ 



I'll 



j 



or 






it 

>tion. 



■ 



fotfeezej ! 



- 

- 









, 






s 



•' 



o. 



£ta& Iv^a. Y~&» ' * 

illiill^ 1 li Mite*. 



> 

nopJ:. i > 

1 



. 



- 















, 



Yov 

>or t 












. 



■ 



I 



r.bove 

An ,. ',rxe. ;o ; to c ' 

wit • j floor 



. 






■] < 



1. 



Oh I'm mighty original, really unique, 

With a head like a comedy stage; 
And the guys that I sing and the gags that I speak, 

Are becoming the popular rage. 
I've a choice little hit on the mother-in-law. 

That might work up a smile or a tear, 
It would make the Fifth Avenue stage horses draw, 

It is such an original idea! 



Chorus. 



Chestnuts ! Chestnuts ! 

Chestnuts roasted here! 

There is nothing to pay, 
If you'll take 'em away 
It is such an original idea! 



2. 



I have got the best thing on the gas being low, 
When the dude and his daisy would spoon, 

But I'm laying this by for the next minstrel show, 
To be sung to some topical tune. 

And there is another about the small lad, 
Whose sister gets up on her ear, 

When he gives her away to her "feller" oft "Dad" 
I know that's an original idea! 

Chorus. 



Chestnuts ! Chestnuts ! 
Chestnuts roasted here! 
There is nothing to pay, 
If you'll take 'em away, 
It is such an original idea! 



3, 



There's the girl from Chicago — I'm on to her feet, 

And I have the divorces down fine, 
And the cop who a-napping was caught on his beat 

And several remarks on B the nine." 
There's the clerks who with boodle to Canada hie, 

And the Boston girl's "culture" appears, 
say "corker" and "Gee" "You're a bird." I'm fly." 

I'm full of original ideas! 

Chorus. 



Chestnuts ! Chestnuts ! 
Chestnuts roasted here, 
There is nothing to pay, 
If you'll take 'em away, 
It is such an original idea! 



4. 



I am working up something — don't let it be known, 

On the barber's loud gossip and noise, 
And I have quite a gem that's entirely my own, 

Relating to messenger boys. 
But the joke that lays over Puck's funniest page, 

'Twill double you up when you hear, 
A brilliant "bon mot" on the ballet-girlfcs age, 

Nov/ what an original idea! 



Chorus. 



Chestnuts ! Chestnuts ! 
Chestnuts roasted here, 
There is nothing to pay, 
If you'll take 'em away, 
It is such an original idea! 



"TABASCO," 



I'm Vizier here, I'm always in mishap! 
Fortune declines to hold me in her lap, 
To many, life is one delightful siiap 

But not to me. 
I get the shade when others greet the sun 
I have the crust, the Pasha takes the bun, 
To fell the rest my fate is only fun, 

But not to me. 
I seem to be society's door-mat 
And seldom know exactly where I'm at, 
And when I fry to others comes the fat, 

But not to me. 
The market slumps whe never I take hold, 
And gets a boom as soon as I have sold, 
To others -come the coupons and the gold, 

But not to me. 



\ 



FINALE. 
ACT 11. 



Bash a. 

Everybody is coming, 
Principals. 



His way ! 

Pasha. 



My way! 

T'obasco is going to stay, 

Princioals. 



To stay! 
Pasha. 



Oh it's happy; my lot;;- 
For I strike something hot, 

Principals. 

Of course that is nice for the Bey 






\ 



J 



i| r^ 



; gCO." 



FI1 









- 



: 

3 : 



Heme's 

■n? Boys, 

r o i T i 



"D«-. r- 



(recitative) Oh 
Though humble is 






be" 






— rro t~i <• 



by 






i -- - - 



CTho n 



Pre 



m 






t e ena. 



- h JL£j ^ "It ' out c C s i^ht. 



• •- 



Pq T- -' no]'' i 1 io ro i 



7j 11 rro , 

lira up i tin ~. 

s. 



! " , t( ■ ! 

■ ! 

VOU l"! 1 " ' ] " 1C " ' 



- 1 • 






Ob — serv 3 — — Doked! 

Lola. 



for ? re " ~ ~ J ~\ ■: f '? ,N o] 



— che r — was — : oo] :c 1, 
Lola. 



lied hie -- cc for - potic - ot 
reDj ied, "Jus1 the tu E" p I'v 






Fr: , 



lir ect to 1 : y ' 

a Reer i b] --'-!. 

la. 



j - , ing"! 

- • bO ] ' " I hat r 

3' clock ] 

pi 



, .: . . • 10 - j , 

. - ----- , p c 3p -J_j ,-,-, "I n -^ 



C m . 



-.. -■ - | Peer of ! o ! 

Kir 1 Prj -■ : ' P ' 

T 7 " : SCO 1 

Crc r i ' ■' t ----- , - o: -,-.. ^- . ]all | 

Fill i HLagc 2nd f las] oh! 

'Rah - rrah "*o ! 

"Pq] - OTTj ! ?OV "^ J - -•• -i Qi-fpi ! 

----- - ■- Peer 1 of T sco « 



he. , 



(recitative) Oh, living for m ' ' right 

1 I !tiatt< s luite s ly, 

Fatj u - 1 sco mine, 

Hal He ! itfcs all so funny 3 



Shoi t he ' to ou" >ey 

hi sic ve sing s e t ; 
uty : i a cli^ r. 
- - .. - .... c tyl 

Order ~- ; ■ - ■ " Dke a Gz rcia! 



] 



and sin^ — — c rs' ?] ' : 






7€/tt e^e^r 



t> 






Aj/ /^^f^ 



ii m a d 



i n ABASCO," 



ACT 11. 



SCENE 1. 



T A 3 A S C 0. :l 



ACT 11. 



oUijUji, 1. 



W> 




^ 



NO 



(Room in Pr son's Palace 
Practical doors in flat or drop. 



1-2 or 2 



Porter's chair with curtain in, front 

c - Pasha concealed in chair with 



v v X — li. 



red hot stove in his Ian 
Vizier and nid-hasscm at 
chair. 



Grand Viz 



ing chair. 



Pasha's Courton and surround- 
All on excent characters 



nar - 



1 slaves. ) 



G. 



v 



Your Court has ass 
commands? 



fed your highness 



He ve you am 






'■> toll my Court t 



o go away. 



G. V. 



were am the emissaries from the Pasha of Morocco II 
wants to borrow your gloves and mask. Re is going to 
eaten in the mm against The Algerians on Saturday. 



Pas he. 
Tell them to go to the levil. 

G. V. 



His higl: : says to go to the levil. 

lissary. 



When can -re sec him 

L Ci« b- if.-. 



(fortissimo) at do they say? 

G. V. 



They want to know when they can sec you. 

(Pasna pokes head out of curtain.) 



Repeat do ooening chorus and exeunt omnes) 



Now! you miserable, meddlesome,* microscopic, molecular, 
mendacious malformation of monkeyhood masquerading as men. 
Move your megatherium nerve to Morocco! Get out! ! 

G_ V. 



Are you feeling -any warmer your highness^ 

Pasha. 



(very viciously) No! (head back in chair) 



(enter Fran, gorgeously dressc 
G fc V.. 



What name please? 

Fran. 



(with flourishes) The Pasha of Tabasco Esquire, 



G. V. 

Here is the Pasha of Tabasco, 

i nsna. 

Tell the jackass to approach. 

t 

Fran. 



The jackass has a broached. 

Pasha,. (head appears) 



You gave me yesterday a delightful compound "Tabasco." 
When I asked you for more you worked that $2.- per-day- 
hotel gag "Just out." You mad< me for once 

leliciously hot, just to give this terrible re-action. 

(bus) I'm freezing to ieath. I give a reception in 

your honor to-night. If you don' b nave a large supply 
of Tabasco in time Cor supper, II o'clock sharp, 
your regrets and prepare for a long journey: don't pack 
you: savy flannels: your P. 0. address to 

Receiving Tomb, Mount Rope. Nov? go, I want to nave 
Dther chill! ( head disappears . ) Grand Vizier, get 
the hot water bottle neuropathic droos and a 

J. L 

bowl of te .. 

Fran. 



(with threatening gestures towards the chair) I f I 
only had my shillalah! 

G V 



(handing Fran, a Ion- knife) I've had many ch::ncc:: like 
this but I lacf nerve. I want to do it but I can't. 
1 enter kas bcena) Here cut him up, 

(Fran, takes knife and goes towards chair 
Hasbcc-na"~"is on nOw and commenc ed her song 
She does not see Fran, or G~V, and they 
exeunt with same steps as r;hc takes ~~ 



tine chair hiding them. ) 



HP a r a q n n 



ACT 11. 



SCEI :E 1 



H; sbecna. 



irush! Hush! 



Heal 3 see ! 



Silent be ! 
Folic- r me ! 
Folio-, follow! We :in< 

Warilycf 



Wanton! 



Wanton! We will rind 



Whore is i he? 



Harem. 



her! 

her. 



1~ 



Hush! Hush! Hush! 
Gently gliding! Softly sliding! 
Creeping, creeping — light and low, 
Glancing hither —drawing t lither 
Beeping, peeping —'round we o. 
'Hush! 



IXCuO \j O C i .ic~ , 



:h ! 



Hush! [lush! z not £ 
Hither fly! She is nigh; 
Waiting! Waiting! in some corner, 

Pass not by. 
Fating", hating how I scorn her! 

She shall lie! 



Harem. 



Hush! Hush! Hush! 

oO I tlv 



LrUJ 1 Li Lj ; j — -i -cJ.il, . : 



Udi 



:CV I 



Creeping, creeping 
Glancing hither 
Peeping, pecnj ig 
Hush! 



- drawing thither 

— ' round T ~<e tro. 



CHORUS 3 - - - ] Harem. 



(en 


ter 


Hasbeenr 




lis 


T>otn 


- T 


hey 


are 






i 




s e a 


rchinr for Fc 


_l ~ i na 






ic 


^ i ^ 


ii g p 






■ LUb 


ie 


Ivlan 




Dur in f r 


p-j 




P - r, , r 




icks 


0l i-t 






ties 


id an ' wat 


3 les 


t 


ie it' m 


n .-.. 




s.) 





3 



H yon losl e yt i 



: ! d f m ind . 



(c~ '^ r ; ^v + . ^ " -..Vi^' Well, I-^n g-oj " tc [jive yon 

piece 3! at is the latter wit] yon iris la- ly^ 

1 £ SOT in? 7 " topic Yon ?- : --- nnf Ton] " - - "> i 






lot! If we had looked well we had round I: " 



I :ha. 



is ; ' her " 






■TTho is r " is ungrs maticalj 



P- -.-,.. 



bnsiness! ~ ■ tj al!" '"'vc h? 1 f 

a rain 1 to send yon back tc Bos to: 

- . 



Do it! 

r I can! I'm I ley ' 
Has" 
But not tb " tey of as tts! 

(4crir--i''-c-.V- —.-•-■ ■ :" "'■: — " n — • "prts'O Q \ 1 sai s! 
(^n|H-.j— - t,n-7rr'- 1r - cpi.t, ) ~~ 

(Hasl cc — ' T .rrr— c;;ev- •'-. rr r -"'i.pr", refrain 

o " r>-.- -t - -- c - - — ^ ) 



Pf • he , 



How irritating int " 11 tua] wc : r , but it h; < " r 

M so ----- • i - for* to-day ' T ~"" r to 

r look at my "Gem." (p^- r v ^■■~- - — - ^ i^..^., 

pi • ?pom room ) F? i p o tpe^bl g not ' 3v th wav 






( durinsr following ineecli Fatim?: ao ^ r ■" 1 " r ^ -^ p ":- i 1 1" r '■ ■ o t ^ ^ 

- — -i ^---N r - .-.out) Not " v no ! You ' 11 Cc Her] Tabs sco . 

Anything I like I call "Tabasco.." (Pr-hp—- c;-:ocssivcl Tr 
v ^Ti - 1 ) I called U Tom G.i j"~'.':'v— ?o'' --q-m (""Vr-ha 

l.^--''^." pp" 1 n lv ■ ■ FrtiP" •" ! ~.:-:S ~' r t ^pt p. :usolo) 



~>o — - -'- i A-. 



veathcr we've be b ': : g. ( aus Did vovj 

;>- World' F ir? f— -i- ^ " ( Fat ima 1 o ~k in£ 
about) Dc you feel s lr '"-t <^p arc Tr m- exocot i'" r " 



somel c lv? 



Oh vour highness, I'm r -^ lonely! " : at me sec Marco and 
Lol p 



Fatima. 



. ...■ , ^ ... - , y j .-. 

? 

Fatime . 



(as thnii^h thr, i'£' --^ -■ "•-,-''-- ^-t-^c 1 : .Vr) Yes ' 
brother ar i siste r « 






(Ijcc 1 ^: 1 r " r Sidhassern " ;) T ' r> " ;ertai ly! 

Send the prisoners Marco am JjO.u here, ( exit H-M- Vr-' x;n) 
I n i' 't k o t v - y - r y< } ro1 r - 3 "^ "tor,. 
Hot7 1c '" have tr. y your brother and sister? (Fatima 
sv.y?l-. r '"arses r 4 - hir.) Hot7 foolj ' ( - r < A lr ) That look 
V g-j s relapse. Here z - ly 69th, T bet four 
x - one I'll dc ill to-d y. (Pasha takes u.p 

takes Fati ir by both hands •:-'' looker-, i". her ryes) 

] D. 



— i ■ 



' (] — 'ies I" r 1 ; hi? 3:101.1 lr] r] 



i - 



There's a 1; ited f i ly Cor yon ! 
(exit Pasha) 

Qi -'-';- - - iov indeed Pp+ima 1 



I 3 

I Tr -' [JET — Marcc 3 F t 



Fc t i = 



Marco. 
'Twas .y last night. 

b i ia. 



Tiin< halts v you ar ay. 

Liar co. 
But it flics w i we arc together. 

(cater Fran, ana Lola anbraci nc; each other) 

Lola. 
There are r,o flies on us. 

Fatjjna. 



Lola! How came you here? 

Lola. 



I was just release by t of Tangiers 



1 I- c . 



- J J.*-J. 



— - - 



, TT71 



I ' r c l . eo r n_d here i: 1. 1 

is 

Lola. 



ii :. Lael : i - ' 're re. 



"i,. 4- - 



■Michael ! ! ' 



> w-i t- 

■ - A 1 , 



I'm M: y Lc ? . Did yen bh 

Line! jav . said i : - was 

hotter " ! ". . 



All. 



; it? 



Fran. 



dr? ik it r_.lt and no- ■ 



. ring 

II 3 ■ 



" J as ! lilt 

alls id furores. - ays tc me, he ".dr.: 

moi .ace to-night 1 dj jv or 

ip or words to that effect! 



V . 



1 Mike loesn't k: ow - : \ to ge y more sauce.. 

Fran. 



Unles you darlin' 



Lola. 



n: 



Sir ! 



Fran. 



3uld help tc Cind some. Don't let us be hanging 

Let us leave it to-night. 



aroi 1 rid this : " 



Fat 



Gut -acre c< n we ^o? 



a 



.•ran. 



I have a ooi si: ; . outh BostonJ 

I [arco . 



Let us sail away to Spain the 
home of Love ! 



the olive. 



ae 



Fran. 



man, what are you taLl e ' about? 

-;;--,; at llOI '. 1 1; ..d.. 



Sure Love is 



Lola. 



I've heard Love thrivcr-- i" : ;a fc 






That 5 s c part o [ Ire l£ 



QUARTETT E 



rco 



'. ■ 



— Francois —Lola, 



* 



The Love of all ' : bions . 



Lola 



iL S I J Lc ,o Uc Slid./ 



Ko- 



■ve are, 



We'll e 



Frr: - . 



we leave? We can't escaoe 



- ! -i <-• r - -i i ■ pi " Y> mi 



the streets till ni< 



;teal ] : i y t. dr g - Ise that' s handy 

I [arco. 



I know where they've nit my boat. We'll go on board and 
'."■: ?rom our oursuersi Come on to Soain! 



o^ 



Hasbeena. 



Never! You'll not escape me this time. ( jo Fatima) 
: have not willingly co ; " etween me and my position 
you hav been a passive t in destroying- my supremity 

but I mate you and yours just tin same-e! I'm cultured 

)ut Pm a hustler! 






Marco. 

Stand back! 

35k 



: ; one step! You shan't leave this "'lac 

Fran. 



o 



! 



it nain: c .tradict p. lady u1 you're a liar! 

(seizes her) 



(nn r : hasbccna and tic ner in chair and 
null curtains down. ) 

Lolc . 



l' t hi i Lei Lkc? 

Fr : . 



r! She' 7ct ixteen! _ Cc act without a 

pcrn.it. 

(exeunt Lola, Fat ima, F ran, and Marco, 
enter i.d. sha ;..:d ■' .-rr.nl VTTior. } 



p. 



:-.r . 



tfizj ] 'ou h -growi n chest! Why lon't y 

go tc the gymn? sium. '\\ slums strengthen muscles a; 
pre e. 

G. V. 



rs nr I nc gymnasiums 



. 



• I look at 'em. They're all dead! T dy- Ben i knew 
a i, vvho Lt if voi ilv ate oatmeal, -'on could 

lift a horse. He ate it went to the ;ank tried to 

li : . a note (an oat) and failed! 

(Pasha lau;;hs a little _ G. V. looks 

blank takes out knife and looks at it 

and ouLs it hack with a sir;h.) 

s \l . 



'. . ■ to London worked in a gy lasium run montns 



sweeping out and he lifted fifteen pounds 



sterling. 



(Pasha laughs jjTV.ioderr.tely- G. V. docs 

not sec the joke. ) 

G. v. : 



He mus" l; ~" ] : man. Was his nain Sax ~o- :r ? 

Pasha. 



(furious) Grand Vizier you are z gibbering idiot! I was 

jesting! (G. V. takes out revolver) An absolute 

rend: jokes are always anticipated. The next time I 

ic: c li ' : le. (G. V. points revolver 

at Pasha) n't do that Ben it nT^vt go'oiT. ~FT7~Y7~ 

puts nn revolver..) h otni s i: as s 
damn 100I ! 



(Turns towards chs 


ir. As Pasha turns 




towards chair it ir 


oves 2 or '"' stcns T 




Pas ha. nuts hand or. 


too o r ' head then 




looks at chair and 


the; at G. V. who is 




r ■ — , - -1 - - . -i H i - 


still with a vacant 




stare. ) 


,.'- ■• >- 







r e r e; t hot loi ; 



(Turns towards chair chair scves 

hssnr. rgnin disturbed.) 



n: ju: b iai b iose cui ,; i is I want to : i 



(G. V. starts towards chair chair 

moves he go e s b ac I ■: an d b 1 inks his 

eyes and acts dazed enter oid-hassem, J" 






Lei: your lonarch wishes be rest part the curtains. 



(3id-hassem starts towards chair • 


it 


moves L'id screams kneels. 


an rolls 


-i-i (71 /-T- ^ r-c T-rn -I- K -frNf-.Ti ... , r~ ] 


|T .-, <-, _ 


;1.uj I A L . . J. U. I L ecil CO LJ ,. - i . 


i^-CLb"" 


beena parts curtains having treed 


her 


hands she takes gag from men' 


-i, ) 






von arc beautif : . examples of lords of ^rc tion* Jump 
utd ! 3stir yourselves! The prise iers have iecamoc l! 



Your slave has Gscap6d again! (exit JIasbccnaJ 



. 



(ai it at 6i 


-j 


A 


She's 


- 






. 







"- 






inc. 



1 



(exc 



. - . 






■ 






-. 



11. 



-f i. ' .' X 



ll. 



■ ■ ' ■ , 



J^Tr ~ . '. . .; 



--■■V ■•■'./ etc 






- 






u.1 i 



■J :- 



■' !■■ ■ ^ '■' 












■ 
j ; . 



: 



■ 



T 



bone Oi 



,er writer 



M< rco. /^p 



6 



GO. 



■ li.-.'Miv: L .c-l r.r-. ~,c ^ ■; co.i:r: ',-: .V..',':.. lc J :. J ,;.rG written.) 
No 1 e 1 1 o r s ! lis ,vi . - oi : ~ . n^cr;? — no sweet; ic?,rt5j? 



( crowd go ud s tage. ) 



T 5 



■l^'-'--s = - ' -•■'•:.. '■■ .- 



nsc 



' 






., 






' 



; ! . ' lSuv inj 



L 



- - » 



i (Fatimu shrinks from him) Qan't you see 

thl e ■■;■ lo not look flowery to me. Have you a license 

to peddle? 

(Fatima very much afraid Marco motions 



xor ncr eo s . } .. . . j 






-■ r 
1 v, . . 






. 



ise me fc ■• i. .':"■'. : !l — but in i 

-. ':;:-v.-e;.- ., ) - 



- N - - No - No - ' ' ' 



're 






I'm such r ] . " ' rat ' : 2 - 

' ■ • ■ - 



b 



J ..:: •. .: a FlC 

___ __ • - . • ^^ 



hi..-. ] 



yo* i h ..... js I m an, it leems as bl: ;h I 

. ^ yoi .ore. (Pasha during speech gets impressed 

and pleased vrith her at tentions chucks 

"her uji^icr t.-ic- c.,an.) 



Look in he .^ ';.i..i - ; ,k.j ;..; ;..a. : . ; column bomorrc . I fill 

lax 






'I 


( rro i • 
ii - s „ 


1 L J 

(er-:it) 

A 


f 

- 







c 






iNG — "Then Greet The Old With a amide. a 



lU 



G V 



(s-jeakin:; r a-; idly a:sl decide Mly) 1 ' , I Ion' t 

think mucn o.l" tnis cnme Piracy " conbine. " re I have 

been cc : ver . tinier " ?ixed bo whack 

»y con: oozed :..'. t want your 

- 1 ; you ", "wait till I fix Fatima*" 

(very earnestly)"' Yon , 1'it ot in this conspiracy 

-.- seae !~ money ! - ' r -i : ! marbles! ot fun! I'm in it 
foi ;! b-i-z-n-u-s! I've Ln -lute all my 

life, - " I'm a r< ;or '.. 



Be p; 1J '1 - r. 

G. V. 

y "' oatient. " I h; ve 
ecided tc ■---."■ - - b. To- V y is 

tine'';:. I'm "ni / to sei the 1; : ' '< 1 .tine, 



:omj e. ? 



- ■ lc .. 



G. M 



(nod:: heal) I t Till reak i all i p. M: ull of 
dynamite. I w; bod tc - Idr It, I hav 1't the 

aink tc lo i : y el. On, ' : 1 r-writer. 

.(. ^oir/; t,C'e..n!" .il:.) du ""ill see what I can lc 

alone* (aoes in to Marco) I want thin i idresse ! ai 3 

I n 

I I n c 1 i .'"■ - 'P n -i <-. - 1 -p - - f> | -, r— r • n fT 1 *-: 4- •< r i «- <■ - • n "p r> O 



■■■ .L Oj.Jl-.'U 'y •-■<--■ -L- ■ „ { — ' '.. ■" '-'-- 1 -'- ,. ■■■iU- i.^-'—i i ' ■ ■■■■' — *-*-» <*-» cmi^X- 

pulls .il: Qe. t lie aries unsuccessful 
to free hirisclf as -ie exits.) 



_,T ,' - 



G. V. 



Let me alone sent to the — —see here! No, no not 

the "sec here" but the Bey. faderstand? J at exit) 

Marco. 



Yes, you - ' this tc I ic Pc s. La, 

G. V. 



- I wish I In't said it. (G. V. miled off.) 

Pal t I : . . 



Oil Marco that's H we ' ' Ly dis< ered. 

Let':' ?1; . 

arco. 



■ ' fo] "" ls and j .olr as we ] 



. 



(sc- ) Mere's th i bu: ing! fe'j urcl 



los t iow! 

( ■- r Pa; ir. ) 



, 



Here is a ray of - ii i: gi ' or ; ; Toe, i of the 

day.. I've rT> t bh ic i . tc be bh : 

I Vizier, (to i.iarco ) Just ; ldre< id this to 

the " Vizier » .(to cait chucklir^) lie "'ill simply 
writ i whe: s it.. It's a couple of jackasses rod 
at-i i red I " as i : . ys," T 7hen shall we bhre . 
t aryain. " Ii:-'.' so ser :itive it will kill lim. 
It's such ori? ..-. . (fill in czi I ) . 



■iarco. < &&*^l 



Sec my loar you are still sai , 



Li JLi I I 



] wish Francois and Lois Du.ld cn_~^. 

i l c I '00 . 

? i ima lo you bhink you know -hies of bhes'e boxes is which 
One roes bo the Pas and one tc a-.: Grand Vizier* 



iear. *$aey both look alike, 
difference. 

Marco. 



It can't make much 



( addr e s s c s th cm ) I'll chance it. 
street gamin. ) 



(sends boxes by 



Fatima. 



I wish Francois and Lola would come. Lore come those 
two pedlars. I'm sure they are watchi g us. 

■rco. 



What a sillv little thing you are. Even if bhev are, 
(holding her hands ) Yea ca 't 1 le them h ar you loo]: 
so charming! 

Tati a' . 



Oh Marco ! (buries her 1 or his shoulder) 



(enter Fran, and Lola as pedlars) 



Lola. 



Philopene ! 



Fran. 



boft-soap! bhoulder -braces ! Hair- Dins ! Taffv 



(Fran, and Lola both burst out laughing) 



Fatima, 



Arc n ' : they horr i I Marco. 

M arco. 

r f , , 1 )1 1 

Very. Say Francois when can we escape. 

Fran. 



Just as soon as the boys r ;o home ["rom work and the 
streets are quiet. 

Loir.. 



How's business Marco? 



Marco. 

Good. I've had only two customers, the Pasha and the 
Gtc . /izicr. Oh, I'm only catering to the best trade! 

iiO : .'> bl ell LJ.L/ 'J. Oil - LJL. .- I 



Jed I've had only cue customer a bald heeded man! 

larco. 



What lid h wy? 

r r an , 



He took a hair \h on memora % :. . Mush bh r >s my 

chance* 

(enter blin/lnan and lane man both drunk. 
Thev have sandwich sirtis but reversed — 



-•- 



the bii.nd.han' s sign on the lr:m man and 
vice versa Blindman and 1< m.p..n 



sing "j -torn ember the bar -keener never for 
gets to greet the old man with a smile. 11 ) 

(enter hasbcena rind O, V ^ri y ^^^ff, 



.mrco, Fatina, hole, and Fran , very mneh 
interested in the tw o men . ) __ 



Fran. 



Sure the lain 0: s is blind Irunk. 

Blindman. 
What vou shell? > 



(Fran, winks to compan i ons takes up 



bo b 1 . in 


one hand anc 


! toy snake in the 


t~> 1 1 ~ "p . . . 


-work snake 


and. turns towards 


L) Lilvl 


the ^en. ) 



Fran. 



Loride ot Gold Bitters: cures the worst cases in five 

minutes. (Lien rush to buv Fr an. rcnogv-.i ?e^ hii-rhnm 

as the Tabasco man hasbcena orders slave's to arrest 



Fatima, Lola, and Marco, They do it noiselessly placing 
hand over the mouth of each prisoner and carry ire* them 

on. 



Fran. 



(grabs b landman) By heavens, you're my Ta.basco man! 

_(Lola at exit struggling calls) 

Loir.. 
1 like ! 

Fran. 



(discovering the arrest) Oh murder, they're at it 
again ! 

Lola (off. ) 

Mike ! 

Fran. 



larlin'. ( shakes bl indman ) Here have you any 

;nse? Bring Tabasco sauce, all you have Pasha,' 

.ac sfor 11 o'clock n to-night! 

Lola. (off fainter) 

Mike ! . 

- — » 

j_ 1 (.._ t , 



¥es larlin'! I'll give you loads of riches — twice 
the load you have now. 

i Jlir '. 



>asco Palace eleven. 

Fran. 
: Gold not Bi-chloride but big- every thi 

(exeu.n1 and change to Scene ill.) 



II •■ I 



\ B A S C 0, 



ACT 11. 



o 



C E N E 111. 



A B A S C 0. 



ACT 11. 



SCENE 111. 









GRAND E N T I 



M A R C II. 






(enter Pasha with several c o ats on . He 
is still suffering iron cnTITsI Directly 



aiter jiie 



,rance 



- enter uarco : . 



Patima and Lola in custody oi" slaves' 
then Ilasbecna. ) 



1 



31 3 are your prisoner:;. It only shows you 
aart New wc t do. 



That 



E 






ii o ihi ig more the ; r Enf Land woman c; 

do. : lc can r 'c off by h r; If and think. (to sla ves) 
ke that in — (describes Lola's costume 

color or c thing* about the style.)"" to our darkest 

dungeon.. HhO" r Patina to the blue room... -ring me 
z : ' ler ulster Sid. T 7h-. t tim< is it? 

Sid. 

Five minutes of eleven sah! (enter Pr an . d i s c over s t h e 
proximity of the fatal hour.) 



J. CXOllCu. 



ive minutes I'll hav some Tabasco and heat or 
death rate in this Irama will ^ e hi^v enough to make the 
t act of Laslct seen like a farce comedy. 

(Fran, laughs.) 



Fran. 



I saw just ow the ic t , Lght. (here describe 1st. 



specialty.. Get Pasha interested and introduce the 
speci alty. ~ During snecialty turn clock back. v/h 
specialty is over i t is just four minutes of eleven,) 



SPECIALTY No 1. 






Si:] what time is it? 

id. 



our utes of el r sah! 



p- a V 



Where's the Tabasco Francois? 

Fn q. 



Coming sir! 



> 



(Here ler:d up tc and lescribe 2d 



specialty - Pas la interested. 



During spcaialty Fran, turns cl6cIT"back 

At close of specialty clock shows 

three minutes o ■ ' eleven.) 



SPECIALTY No 



r P V TJn O 



Pash< 



Wl b time is it Sid? 

Sid. 
minutes of eleven sah! 



Pasha. 



Gee! I should hate to work by the hour by that clock, 



W lore 1 s that Tabasco? 



Frr . 



Right hero directly sir! (then got Pasha interested in x 
specialty No. 5 introduce it. During tins specialty 



Fran, is absorbed in looking" oti' .tor "Tabasco " man and 



-T-rTrV 



does not move cloci; 



when specialty over clock is 



i y s t eleven. ) 



S P E C I A LTY 



No 



Pas .ha 



flhat tim, is it Sid? 



(Fran, is remin ded that I not turn 

clock back — = 



n e s t ar ts~~ t o w af as it 



itomime 



begins striking slowly. 
o£ desoair and anrer duri~ striking 



by the interested charac t ers. On the 
eleventh stroke blindman still drunk 



rumples i n with tray lull o' 

sauce. ~kasna is qui ckly given it and 
vui.le -ic is drinking it he beg i ns to warm 
ud and takes off extra Garments. 



1 t^.J. Li , 



Anything —everything is yours! Vfiiat 

Fran. 

Fatima! Marco! and Lola! 



"1 ! i 



voli take? 



iou ask mi 
writhe 
au ze ■ 



i asi la. 



raucn Ait 



1 '. I Lt " ' ) 



r/ord though i t m; k i 



Elongate kadi,-:;: and Marco. 



excuse mc while I writhe., (tur n: back to 
hort business) (to aid- hasscm. ) 



Sid-hassem. 



I Ion' t u; l c rst; 1 1 you sa ! 

i CUOJ li-.v. 



them out! (exit Sid- has sera. ) 



Has-bei. , 



Oh sire, be ruled ■; by reason. Beauty is fleet: \ 

ut I alway: here, ay I hope to be a^a: your 
"popsy-wopsy. ■ 

( c. t a Marco and F; : i; . ) 






Perhapsy- y. m (to aiarco and Patina; . ) You're free! 

F< tiina I i;] -'.. ab _ . oaee that you would be iny v; : :irie. 

- - ;era e n 3 co< les down with box) 



r~i j 



j s y 0ur yj ;■ j j_ r : your a Iir ens ! 

is- 



■j il U 



(alarmed and grabs the Pasha) ; t Heaven! 

Vizier's. Oh do not open it. I beseech you to listen 



G Q i fl C . 



_ (Pasha throws her froa him ■ she falls 

* 07i her knees picture of despair — — 

puts her hands to her ears Pasha 



opens box durmrr speech work this 



business up. )' 






r lMrT f; von r t r' qcr i""' !" "f^" i T"~/ ^n i itt "t KH •• rrc \ r na -i a mTvr Via 

J-iiOJ >_■ coi O e^-,<.,,j_ J Oi JLil: UU I Lil L/ilJ_ I - , > J . Lxl±b ilioA JO 



f-i - -n - c ■ {• a -p H r\i i o r"i " <~* U 



Ll< -> . fc C i , 



i ili^u ,j 'j.l<a,U 1 lu clli t.-.L L IC lb. 



Jl lCb. 



J. CuOi 



hullo 1 ! what; s txiis ! My valentine for the Grand Vizier ! 



How i b is? T .7h lid the krand Vizier Fret? 



Ha , - _ la. 



I don' ''■, k ow. ut I do know th; 

ShOi 1 ly ; 3 te. 



sndc ] bi Lat vou 



"CO. 



I can explain! I wa; letter-wri bhat addres )6 

)Oth the t Ley r er like I must hav ; le : 

mist? ke . 









she 3 . 1 :i with l.iarco and i ^ins his 

1 + 



. hnnrlr; with TTV"tiina' s) , Not at all: boy , you ' d made no 

: ". T v;i:-- ". V 1 - take.. Has a y 

one h< ard if he's ire? (explosion outside ) 






to 



^ m 



iny cnil« Li 3n! 



Fatima, ; yoi wo- id bring" happiness 
have saved my life. Bless you 



F I N 






/